Holy crap... if anyone has pictures from the New Year's show at Ash Street, burn them. Otherwise just email them to me.

There's nothing like passing pieces of liver through your urinary tract after a night of binge drinking. BIG PROPS to G-Mo for being my designated driver that night. Oh... my efforts to avoid hangover failed miserafuckingbly. Head of Lies, DFiVE9, and Plain Jayne put on a fantastic show. It seemed like everyone at Ash Street knew everyone and it was like one big house party, except you had to pay for drinks (not champagne, though) and I didn't break any furniture.

Happy New Year... Gooch

Here's a good article regarding hangover cures... click HERE

This report refers to an "average 150 pound male." I don't know any males that weigh 150 pounds. Unless they're doing drinking studies on twelve-year-olds, science needs to keep up with us fat americans.

To avoid a hangover tomorrow, I resorted to a low carb-high fat diet. When I was on the Atkins diet a while back, I noticed that no matter how much I drank, I could still get to work early the next day - no hangover. I haven't been able to do that since I was 11.

New Years (Portland) Recommendations:
Stuart Wylen Trio @ Wilf's (at the train station)
DFiVE9, Plain Jayne, and Head of Lies at Ash Street

Stuart Wylen Trio is one of the best Jazz acts in Portland playing at one of the greatest lounges in Portland. DFiVE9, Head of Lies, and Plain Jayne are great bands by themselves, but tonight have formed a superpower to unleash at Ash Street.

happy New Year. Be safe.

Christmas Night: After my indulgent foray into the world of 7-Eleven Big Bite hot dogs (with cheese sauce, a culinary delight I'm giving up for New Years) I decided to make a trip to the credit union to deposit some of my Christmas loot. Insert Card; Choose English or Espanol... Engligh was pressed and the entire system locked up with my card inside. A high pitched tone taunted me. Fortunately I had the cash I intended to deposit in my hand. I looked for the Ctrl-Alt-Del key combination to reboot the ATM to no avail. I'm without a check card and it sucks. I need to scrounge up some cash for tonight's debauchery; I'm down to five bucks.

Stop the Planet... I want to get off!
Attack of the Clones!
Real scientists call 'bullshit'!
Headlines write themselves!

Religious wack-jobs claim they've cloned a human

Raelian Religious sect is based on the teachings of Rael, a former race car driver who claims he met an alien and that human life was created by extra-terrestrials. The Raelians formed a company called Clonaid which claimed this morning in a press conference filled with potential bullshit that they gave birth to a baby girl cloned after her 31 year-old Mother.

CNN: Group claims first cloned human born

Brigitte Boisselier, scientific director of Clonaid

Raelians clone human, can't whiten teeth.

With the Multnomah County District Attorney's Office clearly the ones who gave the faulty advice to the officers that illegally searched Gina Hoesly's garbage; I proudly present this flashback from June 12, 2002 after her indictment:

I don't know Gina very well, but we have a lot of mutual friends. We can all take comfort in the fact that I know from first-hand experience (as a crime victim) that the Multnomah County District Attorney's office can't prosecute their way out of a paper fucking bag.

AT&T Wireless Services has attempted to overcharge me $339.16 this year.

On January 10th, 2003 I'll be acquiring a condominium in Gresham, OR. For those of you not from Oregon, let me explain Gresham to you.

Gresham is to Portland as Beverly Hills is to Los Angeles. Gresham is a monument to everything upscale, hedonistic, and excessive in the Pacific Northwest. The only Saks Fifth, Tiffany's, Macy's, and Harrod's in Oregon can be found in Gresham. I probably won't be able to get a prostitute for under $900 an hour. That's alright, though since that's money I won't have to spend on a security system (or door locks) since there's virtually no crime in Gresham. It'll be a drag occassionally when my drive to work is impeded by the horse drawn carriages that line the streets, but the ambience is worth it. I've got a personal shopper buying my appliances right now.

Have a great holiday. - GOOCH