GOOCH: FLASHBACK!
JUNE 2001 (three months before the 9/11 attacks) from the column "Air Travel Sucks"
Not that you need me to tell you what can go wrong in midair, you’ve got flight attendants telling you as soon as you board the plane of all of the “unlikely” events that can occur during the flight. Example: "In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device." Unlikely? They never give any instructions in the unlikely event of the plane smashing into the side of an office building at 400 mph.
I was off by 100mph.
writers note: I think that my writing persona contrasts sharply with what I am in real life. I'm not really this bitter in person. I'm just a recently single guy with a part time computer job who lives in a condo in Gresham, Oregon. I'm a nice, sensitive person who has become accustomed to public writing as a way of self expression. I cried when 9/11 happened; I cried when the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded. I once became attached to a stray cat that I befriended, fed back to health, and at one point got itself trapped and had to rescue it. I teared up when that cat eventually disappeared (my girlfriend at the time tried to console me by saying that the cat probably didn't leave me, but probably was run over by a car).
My point is this: I'm a nice, sensitive person and if this fucking website and its contents keep any girl from going out with me I'll put a god damned hammer through my server.
