I noted my state last night as being "drunk." Truth is, I'd had two drinks but eleven hours of travel time and little sleep the night before rendered me effectively inebriated. I got some nine hours sleep last night and am much better now. Good enough that I'm able to type this on a Macintosh without getting confused (Macs are like Kryptonite to me).

This place (Miami) does look like Vice City from the Grand Theft Auto games. Lots of neon, scooters, prostitutes, and taxis.

I've got some ironing to do. I got my luggage last night and it must have stayed out in the rain for a while. Fucking baggage handlers. Don't get me started on the airlines (read columns in the 'columns' section for my thoughts on air travel).

Anyone with that server space for me? Lots of people emailing me with requests to see the Paris Hilton video, no one emailing me willing to help out. They all got their cups but they ain't chipped in" - Snoop Doggy Dogg

Gooch: In Miami.

I'm in Miami right now. Everyone here is drop dead gorgeous; even some of the girls. I just got done hanging at a bar with my friend Mike and his sister. It's bed time right now. No sleep last night, 11 hours travel time. It's awesome out here. I'll upload pictures when I can.

Miss you Meg.

GOOCH: drunk.

I finally dug up the Paris Hilton video from the bowels of KaZaa. KaZaa's been so fucked lately, that I've been having a hard time stealing music, much less getting the most important celebrity sex video of the year. What I can't understand is why the quality of the video is so bad. It looks like it was shot under infrared night vision lighting. It's not like she didn't know it was being filmed, so perhaps the lights could have been turned on? I mean, if you're a guy and Paris Hilton is going to let you videotape yourself having sex with her, wouldn't you want a finished product that doesn't look like a parking lot security tape?

A couple of notes about the video: Rick Solomon sounds creepy as hell as he directs Paris throughout the vid. Further proof that men shouldn't talk during sex, ever. Paris gets up at one point to answer her ringing cell phone, to which Solomon barks "fuck your cell phone." Girls have it so easy. If I even glance at my ringing cell phone during sex, I'll get an acrylic french-manicured fingernail in my eye.

This video is a 5mb file, if someone wants to give me some server space and a link, I'll upload the file so others can download it. Free Comcast server space would be good.

Things I'm Thankful For:

Girls who don't notice (or care about) the video camera loosely hidden in the corner of guys' bedrooms.

Yellow Swarm pills (fka: Yellow Jackets): the last venerable source of Ephedrine.

The two-for-$1.89 hot dogs at 7-11.

State unemployment checks that pay for the beer.

My server for staying online for the last 1.5 years.

Portland bands.

Girls who are heavy sleepers.

My tech support client base that pays the mortgage.

Megatouch video games in bars, and my girlfriend who plays them with me.

KaZaa and the free music (and porn) it provides me.

Silicon based lubricant.

My website and the people who visit it. All four or five of them.

Beer and the people who pour it for me.

The Skyland Pub for supplying me with employment, friends, and booze.

Pub 181, Roadhouse, and Pal Joey's (Gresham, Oregon bars) for doing the same minus employment.

Febreeze for getting the smoke smell out of my clothes without the hassle of Laundry.

Laura (aka: Miss White Trash) at Bella Tocca for cutting my hair.

Reddi Whip.

Alcohol, for giving me an excuse for every stupid thing I've done since January.

And I'll keep updating until you and I both get sick of it. Happy Thanksgiving... GOOCH!

As I grow older, wiser, and fucking older, I've started learning life lessons that I feel I can pass down to the younger readers of this site. Recent news articles and personal experience has dictated that it's really a good idea to:

Never allow yourself to be photograhed or filmed while naked or having sex.

It will always come back to haunt you.

Ask Paris Hilton and Jessica Lynch

Oh, Friday night my friends and I got a limo to celebrate my friend Ryan's birthday. Ryan is a bartender at Pallas Club in Portland.

In other news, this Paris Hilton sex movie scandal thing is intriguing the hell out of me. What do you want to bet that she was fucking Shannen Doherty's husband in a room at the Ramada? Four Seasons? Funny.

First off: I wouldn't bang either one of the Hilton sisters. If I wanted to, I'd just put a blonde wig on a twelve-year-old boy and, well. I can't get into the waif thing. Never could. The Hilton parents are mad that the video is being released and vow to "vigorously" prosecute the "criminal" responsible for the footage shot three years ago. I'm desperately trying to get a copy of this video off KaZaa, but KaZaa has sucked lately.

November 2003 marks year four of the existence of this website. From it's humble beginnings as a blog (before the term "blog" existed) on some free web space (the original URL was http://www.teleport.com/~gooch) to having it's own domain name: gooch-1.com, to it's current status as a 117MB website residing on the goochonline.net server at URL http://www.goochonline.com, it's been a journey that has spanned three residences, two girlfriends, graduation from college, a home purchase, a hiring and a layoff, the rise and fall of Jam Magazine, appearances on cable access, 9-11, internet dating... and this run-on sentence (in no particular order). I've almost killed the site more than once. I think that would be mistake. It's been an anchor, a focal point for me. I've always felt a low pressure necessity to keep it running if only to give myself a journal with which to look back and reflect. I've taken the time to write thoughtful columns and blogs, and sometimes I write something and don't even bother with the spell check. As far as commitments go, however, this is as good as it gets with me.

Every now and then I put up a link to some "blogs" from the genesis of this site - before I used the blogger service. HERE IT IS.

With my personal and professional lives seemingly in a continuous state of change, this site has been one of the few reliable constants.

BLOG UPDATE: Here's the picture I referred to in the November 7 blog: