RARA SUE

Sorry for the lack of updates. I received a letter from attorneys representing the actress Sara Rue. Apparently some three years ago I purchased the sararue.com domain name. I put up a web page for her, a fan site inviting anyone else to design a fan site because I didn't want to be seen as a "cybersquatter."

Well, Sara Rue has actually sicced attorney's on me demanding that I take down the site and transfer ownership to her representation or she will seek damages from me. I don't understand the damages an actress feels she suffered that someone was conscientious enough to purchase her domain name for her and put up a site for her. I'm not some pornographer in Zimbabwe that she could have never, ever found. I'm a guy in Portland that would have given it to her for the asking. I'm not sure why she (through her attorneys) is talking to me like my buying sararue.com three years ago was an act of hostility towards her. Also, how could I possibly be profitting from a fan site for an actress? I had a link to this website on the page I put up, but I don't profit from this endeavor.

Here's the page that Sara Rue is going to sue me for. I thought I was too old to deal with this shit. However, when I do someone a favor, in a sense, and she treats me like an asshole, then I'll become an asshole. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sort of.

I published the letter from the law firm, but there's a paragraph that says they'll punish me legally if I put the letter on the internet.

Geez, they've got me by the balls. I want to see how a lawsuit against the publisher of a fansite pans out. Here's a legal notice: Any letters sent to any email address meant for me to read will be posted on this site.

GOOCH:pissed.
http://www.sararue.com

Big post coming. Birthday Hiatus in effect.

Boyee.

GOOCH

GOOCH: True Troutdale Conversations
[Neighbor comes over to clean my carpets]

Gooch: Hey, there's pop in the fridge. I've also got some booze to mix it with, if you want.

Neighbor: Oh... I can't do that.

Gooch: Why not?

Neighbor: I just got out of AA.

Gooch: Oh, that's cool. Do you want a beer, then?

Nice. Carpets are cleaned and my neighbor is still on the wagon, despite my efforts.

I was watching the end credits for a movie today and it dawned on me that everyone involved in the movie is given credit. The caterers, the assistants, the madams. Everyone. The film industry is the most self adoring, self congratulatory industry in the world. People make fun of them because they give themselves so many awards (Oscars, Emmys, Golden Globes, Blockbusters) for merely doing their jobs. I think it's funnier that the production company's delivery drivers get credit. Can you imagine if every industry was so interested in giving everyone involved in every detail of a job credit?

"Hey, Bill... thanks for installing my tires"

"No problem, George. By the way, the coffee in the waiting room was provided by Folgers, our fleet vehicles are all Fords, The uniform I'm wearing today was purchased from Acme Uniforms... all hemming was performed by my wife, Suzie..."

Anyways, just something that crossed my mind. Three days until April 19, my 31st birthday.

GOOCH:old

You might be the Gooch...

If you've ever ran up a $350 cell phone bill...
If your car's tags are more than three months expired...
If your last breakfast was Easy Mac macaroni and cheese...
If you receive two phone calls in the same day that the caller asks "Did I wake you..."
If both people above did indeed wake you.
If you've ever uttered the words "Wait for this Viagra to kick in..."
If you've gone to a bar for the specific purpose of getting thrown out...
If you've waited six hours for a DVD to copy rather than spend $10 for a legal copy...
If you've barbecued breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and midnight snacks consecutively...
If you've jerked off to Denise Austin or the Spanish Channel because you were too lazy to put a porn in the DVD player...
If you've said "I'm in to scrapbooking" in an effort to get a girl's phone number...
If you've watched four straight hours of Curb Your Enthusiasm...
If you've watched six straight hours of Kojak...

Do you think Charles and Camilla registered at Harrod's?

Another sex etiquette question: How long after sex is it okay to turn on the television? I've got one of those wall mount TVs with a DVD player loaded with season one of Kojak. If we're not having any discussion and/or she falls asleep, can I pull my arm from around her and fire up the CNN? Would that be considered rude?Fuck, dating's complicated.

Oh, and godforfuckingbid anyone should break away from coverage of the Prince Charles-Camilla Parker Boyle wedding. I didn't get an invitation, but I did get them a present. A bundle of paper sacks, his and her ski masks, you get the idea. How can those two fuck? I know we export wheat, Burger King, and mediocre fashions over there... how about we send over an orthodondist or two? And don't get me started on the stupid hat thing.

Happy birthday to Greg Moore. His party is tonight.

GOOCH:out