I haven't slept in my own bed for a week now. I've slept on my own couch and in my office. Am I practicing for marriage?

Woke up this morning hungover with a voice message from someone telling me that she "hopes I have fun with the sign." Hoping that the memory sparked was only a dream I looked out on my patio to find I was harboring a stolen handicapped-parking sign complete with post. I have to sneak the damn thing back now as I don't want the fucking thing. I've actually grown out of decorating with stolen street signs.

Here's to drinking a fifth on the fourth.

Goochout.

Drank a little bit too much beer last night and utilized my office as a close-to-town crash pad. I should play the A-Team theme song while I unfold the hideabed and tune the satellite radio and use the leather jacket as a makeshift blanket.

I love it when a plan comes together... indeed.

I have a computer to deliver and it's going to be early based on my location and time waking up. Beer hangovers are God's alarm clock.

goochout.

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It's been one week since my last confession.

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm sitting in my office trying to resolve the issues of a customer's computer that is likely infested with spyware/adware likely contracted from a late night porn-site excursion.

I've gone on a couple of dates with a great girl and I've enjoyed her company so much and had such a good time that I'll probably never call her again.

A bit of depression has set in lately. I wasn't going to dump the details on this site, but this isn't supposed to happen. I'm not eating much, sleep has diminished to little bouts of three hour slumbers. I actually turned down a stripper for sex. Work is painful, but I know that income is probably going to be the only thing that brings me happiness for now. Fuck, I sound pathetic but it's true. I take enough god damned pills that the thought of gagging on the barrel of a revolver should be the farthest thing from my mind. I haven't even wanted to go home lately, forgoeing digital cable and bed at home for hide-a-bed and satellite radio in the office.

Don't feel sorry for me... I know that my life is pretty sweet. Still, I can't shake this feeling. If booze and strippers won't pull me out of despair then what will?

VEGAS 2006. WISH YOU WERE HERE, INDEED.

It's somewhat an often occurence that I think about quitting my one night a week gig DJing at the strip club. The extra time I spend working there in addition to my daily computer job sometimes doesn't seem worth the little extra money I bring in.

Then, a night happens where it's all worth while. Last night we had four hot girls. Feature dancer hot. Two of them were somehow smitten with me and one even gave me her phone numbers. I guess not showering or shaving and throwing on clothes that came directly from my Vegas suitcases that have yet to be unpacked somehow made me attractive to the dancers. Also, none of them bitched about the music and in fact complimented me on my DJing skills.

Okay, I'll stick around for a while.

I did date a "civilian" (someone not in the strip club industry) and it went really well. I might have mentioned this in an earlier blog. I hope to go out with her again and that she forgets that when I met her five months ago I told her that I worked in a strip club and that I dated a certain former bar manager from a certain east county bar.

Vegas? I've riddled my brain trying to explain the trip while maintaining Vegas Code of Silence. Here's the MySpace pages for the people that were down there with me. I'll leave it at that.

Nikki

Alicia

Kay (not there the same time I was)

Sandy

Stephani

Aunt Angie

Erin (a dude)

AOL Customer Service Caught On Tape: Will Not Let Man Cancel Account.

Back from Vegas. I have yet to have had the time to compose my thoughts but trust that I will do so and brain dump my experiences on this site. With pictures.

I bought tickets for one of my best friends and I to go see the Broadway show "Hairspray" as it came through Portland. I didn't realize until yesterday at noon that it was scheduled for last night. I thought it was coming in July. I scrambled for a date since my friend couldn't go and ended up having a nice time on a first date with a girl that genuinely seemed interested in me and doesn't pay her rent in $1 bills.

"You don't look like a computer person"

Sweet.

She was even cool when the BMW I was driving (my friend and I traded vehicles so that he could use my SUV to move to a new house) overheated and we had to pour water into the radiator at 1am.

Life is, indeed, an adventure.

More on Vegas. Promise.

goochout.

Hard Rock Cafe last night in Vegas. Crazy "stays in Vegas" shit.

waiting for an airport shuttle now. Hungry and tired and I look like I've, well, been in Vegas for eight god damned days.

Home sweet Troutdale.

goochout.