www.goochonline.com/oregonianhoax.htm

A really, really sick prank I played a few years ago.

I'm really pissed because I totally believe that Snakes on a Plane is a rip off of a script I pitched called Snakes on a Train. Granted, their idea is a bit more compelling. Nonetheless... I demand royalties.

I'M NOT WORKING AT THE STRIP CLUB TONIGHT.

Going to motorcycle class tonight and during the day Saturday and Sunday.

NEWS: 'PENIS PUMP' JUDGE GETS 4 YEARS IN PRISON...


goochout

What The Fuck?

Tupac Shakur is killed in 1996 in front of thousands of people in Las Vegas and the crime still goes unsolved. In the same year, JonBenet Ramsey gets killed in the basement of her home in Boulder, Colorado with no witnesses and very little evidence and ten years later a suspect is caught in Bangkok, Thailand? How the fuck does that happen? CSI Vegas or Miami couldn't have done that shit on TV. If a poor black kid was killed in Boulder, the case would have been closed in a year. It probably wouldn't have even been opened in Portland.

Less than a mile from my condo: A man in a Hummer runs over two Mexicans parked on the shoulder of an on ramp. Did that man go to jail for negligent homicide? Fuck no. He went on to total his Corvette the next day. I don't think Mexicans in this town would go home the same day they ran over two white people.

I'm glad I'm white. I might quit going tanning just so I don't get pulled over this weekend.

goochout.

While driving home delirious after a long day's work, I figured out where the term "blowjob" originated from:

blow job: a job girls do for blow.

good night Gresham.

goochout

Britney Spears video.

She's acting very strange in this one. Never spent much time on YouTube. Looks sweet.

goochout

Got drunk last night. Still buzzed. Had two long conversations with two different girls while I was plowed. The conversations turned out well. I think. Not in the writing mood lately. Wedding this weekend. Picnics on Sunday. Who cares? Going back to bed.

goochout

Photo taken early am 8.7.06. During a bachelor party at Montego's strip club (my club of semi-employment) I put on the bachelorette's veil and put my very large visa bill in my mouth. I don't remember this picture being taken. I am a damn good looking bride, though.
******

What they say: "We've saved about $2000 on the service contracts for the Dell servers. This frees up some resources that we can reallocate and ultimately spend more money with you."

What I hear: "words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, spend more money with you."