Gooch: The Blog 9/26/1984: Saw Purple Rain this week... finally. Man, I would fuck the hell out of Appolonia. I don't know what's more gay... Prince or the purple motorcycle he rides in the movie. Man, I give that guy's career another couple years, tops. I don't know what it is, you have to look like a chick to get chicks. This sucks. Also, I've determined that I'll never figure out the Rubik's cube, so I've decided to move on. Yeah, I see you fuckers at recess, and yes it's evident that you have superior intelligence because you got all six sides matching colors. Great way to spend the day, you schmucks. I couldn't find my calculator watch this morning, which sucks. I did wake up wondering which Go-Go I want to impregnate. Wow, I have a lot of sexual energy for being 10 years old. I'm sure that will go away soon. I can't imagine going through life wanting to pork everything that moves. Did I just say pork?

It's always a toss up between Belinda and Jane.

This is a fucking shame.

Church made famous in Blues Brothers movie destroyed in fire.

I'm so refreshed. I layed on the beach and looked at the stars. I saw a shooting star and made a wish. My wish? Another shooting star. Then I'd wish for another one on top of that... then the next one. Sweet. I also walked along the sand, joined in making s'mores at a campfire on the beach and slept longer then I had in the last two weeks.

Someone put a large billboard on top of an antique shop in Lincoln City (Oregon, where I stayed) with black on white text stating "PORN PUTS CHILDREN IN HARM'S WAY" with a silhouette of a man with both arms chasing the silhouettes of a little boy and girl.

GOOCH WITH JENNA JAMESON, CIRCA 1997

Porn doesn't put anything but maybe Kleenex in harm's way. No one watched a Jenna Jameson movie and decided to pump a three year old. When you make statements so ridiculous you only get ignorant people to believe in your cause. You only get people who don't think to ask "why or how does porn put children in harm's way?" I wouldn't want people like that on my team.

A big shout out to Julie who is leaving Pub 181 to pursue nursing school full time. Free at last, indeed.

Sorry if the last blog left people feeling... dirty. I'm much better now.

goochout.

I... have to get... away ... from you fucking people.

Stressed out. Didn't get the massage I needed. Perhaps I'll meet a girl on the Oregon Coast (where I'm going). Perhaps I'll let her tell me about her dreams of "moving to the big city" of Portland. Maybe I'll promise to take her there. Maybe I'll tell her I own Gallucci's (coincidentally, my last name) Pizzeria in Lincoln City and I'm opening one in Portland and I'll hire her to... I don't know... manage the store or something I think of at that moment where I climax in bullshit. I'll invite her back to the cabin where I'm staying and pour her a drink (so you're twenty-one, right?) I'll invite her upstairs and ask her to rub my neck a little. Once the fucking knot is out of my neck and the tension headache that I've had for two weeks has disappeared and things start progressing romantically I'll stop everything and tell her she can wait outside for a cab. "What's the big deal? It's not raining."

That was a free write. I didn't know where that was going but that's what ended up on the page.

tee-hee indeed.

goochout

I came home to a clean house today. I left it a fucking mess this morning. I had a housekeeper clean up today. I could not have possibly got my house this clean by myself. I do not have the ability. It was like coming home to a wife or girlfriend without the aggravation.

g.o.

Customers stiffing me on $1400.00...

Contract employees showing up late to jobs...

Wheres my WWTMD* bracelet?



*What Would Tony Montana Do?

Happy Birthday, Tony Soprano

I edited my MySpace page. Finally.