I've done a little research on the whole Wal-Mart/Big Box store phenomenon and how it has caused the downfall of the small business in communities. Wal-Mart, for so many reasons, sucks. However, most communities don't have Joe the grocer, Sam the butcher, and Eddie the produce guy. I don't think there are any non-box stores in our neighborhoods. I mean, I like Trader Joe's but even it's getting a bit corporate and playing to the hippie chic crowd that feels better about themselves simply because they spent an extra $2 a pound on "organic" produce. I live about a mile from a Wal-Mart and shop there only because the only local "small" businesses it's hurting are Fred Meyer and Safeway. I'm sure that those two stores alone put some independent business people out of business, and I'm sure no one made a documentary about that.

South Park wins Emmy for "World of Warcraft" episode.

Fucking sweet. I downloaded and watched this episode while in PDX after missing a flight. Good stuff.

goochout.

So, Britney Spears bombs at the Video Music Awards? Everyone except the VMA producers saw that coming, didn't they? Nope... the producers knew what was going to happen. They knew she wasn't prepared. They probably paid her bar tab when she partied the night before the show. Everyone knows Spears is a psycho out-of-shape has been. Her antics have sold more celebrity sleaze magazines than any phenomenon as of late (I've even bought a few) and MTV seemed to think her performance was headliner worthy? No other talent was more qualified to open the VMAs?

MTV knew what they were doing. They did the same thing that US Weekly, OK, Star, In Touch, and others (the ones listed are the only ones currently on my coffee table) are doing: exploiting the mentally ill to make money.

Hey Britney, with that body and that outfit I could probably get you a day shift at Montego's.

Probably.


Making her way up to the main stage... indeed.

goochout.

I'm out of my fucking mind. I almost downloaded the nude picture of Vanessa Hudgens that has been propagating around the internet, but I didn't care enough to do so. Now that I've decided to comment on it, it's too late. Who the fuck is she? She's in High School Musical and dating Zac Efron, another HSM cast member who is on the cover of every magazine right now. She's a Disney Channel alum. She's apologizing for taking the private nude pictures.

Unless you're dating me, NEVER take nude pictures of yourself. Especially in the digital age.Someone might but I'll sure as shit use those pictures for evil. Even if you put them in a safe place. Even I've got a DVD floating around somewhere. True Story. The Superficial had the nude picture up, but took it down due to lawyer requests according to the site. I'd put it up, since I haven't had any lawyer issues since the Sara Rue incident.

But if you're on Disney, shouldn't you take extra care in not having nude pictures turn up. I guess this is like Annette Funicello winding up spread eagle in a Polaroid. I watched the old Mickey Mouse Club shows when I was a kid. I hated Annette because she was such a god damned goody two-shoes. I bet she was an absolute gang-banging three-input slut. Yeah, that's it... where's the 8MM footage of that?

Someone email the original Vanessa Hucaresgens nude to me.

Vanessa Hudgens in nude scandal

goochout

goochpourri...

I had my palm read while at the coast this week. I thought it was all bullshit and I even thought that going into the room with the gypsy lady and my girlfriend's $20 (I'm not paying for this shit). Once the door shut and me and the scammer were across the table from each other with my palms out for her to read (you masturbate with... your... right... hand... heh) I started to sweat profusely at the thought that maybe this broad actually has a window into my soul. She gave me the basic info like "you've been unappreciated and put down your entire life" and told me shit that I wanted to hear "you will come into a large sum of money... your income will double..."

So I started making collection calls this week on some past due accounts. Hopefully she's spooky accurate.

I'm the type of person who writes about the type of person that begins every other sentence with "I'm the type of person." If you're that type of person... stop it. It's annoying.

Halle Berry is pregnant. The older the Berry, the sweeter the juice. Heh. She's 41 and I'm 33, yet despite our age we've decided to keep the child. What? Not mine? Fuck it. One of my ex-girlfriends from way back has a child with a weight problem and a therapist. I keep looking at him like... naw... no, impossib... naw... unh uh...

I'm sure I don't have any kids out there.



The Virgin Galactic Spaceport conceptual illustration has been released. I think more buildings should look like vaginas. What's more inviting than a giant vulva? Vagina... Virgin... I get it. I think the entryways to buildings and homes should look like this. My ex girlfriend's vagina actually looked like a revolving door (or at least acted like one)... I'll email any architect a digital picture if it will help in the design of my building entry concept. I could probably email a picture of my ex girlfriend's vagina to a random email address and the recipient would reply with a message stating "wait... I know her."

Fuck.

Gotta go to work.

GoochOut.

I was reading a story in the Oregonian about an 18 year old girl who was allegedly killed by her 37 year old boyfriend. The girl is named Emily Egan and the Man is Paul Frizzelle. It's kind of creepy, but I searched and found a MySpace page obscurely referenced in the article. The dead girl has left comments on his page and is the first friend on his "top eight." Her page is set to "private," so I've submitted a friend request. I'm assuming it won't be answered. Her mood is set in perpetuity to "tired." I'm a dick for even pointing that out.


Oregonian Story: Videographer is Arraigned in Teenager's Death

Local News Daily Story: Body found in Southwest apartment has been identified

MySpace Page for Pettygrove Productions

Emily Egan's Private MySpace Page

I'm tapping this. No, really... even I'm a step up from Chris Robinson. I don't know, maybe she has glaucoma. Fuck it. Did I mention that I'm tapping this? (Old picture, dated caption)

Hi, I'm Owen Wilson. I'm known as the "Butterscotch Stallion" because of my hair and complexion, plus I'm reputed in Hollywood as having a big dick. This public knowledge has enabled me to fuck the hell out of tons of movie stars (like Kate Hudson) and normal chicks alike; despite the fact that my nose looks like a kid's Play-Doh creation and I have a voice that melts concrete. Every movie I'm in is fucking funny and has made me a ton of money. Oh, yeah... I'm rich too.

So, I decided to try to end it this week. Cut my wrist, took some pills, called it good.

Fuck him. If Owen Wilson tries to kill himself, then I should find a way to go back in time and off myself right after high school. That was the time that my potential was greatest. At my funeral, people would comment that "he was taken from us so young... he could have been a doctor or a lawyer."

In reality and ironically, those are the two professions I've required most since I graduated high school.

Bite me, Owen Wilson. Sorry life was so fucking good for you. Try not to get a blow job in the recovery ward... wouldn't want you to slip deeper into depression.

Where's my xanax?

goochout.