Morning Wood...

Jodie Marsh.

I have no idea who she is. I just have the utmost respect for any woman who goes through the surgery to look like this.

...and I think to myself... what a wonderful world...

I'm going to take some Advil PM. That's code for "Coma Time!!!"

goochout.

cold.

My 75 degree alarm clock...

For some inexplicable reason, my thermostat rocks up to 75 degrees in the morning. Every morning I dream that I'm in hell. Then I realize that I'm in a warm Wood Village. Not much of a relief. It's like I wake up screaming "FUCK!!!!!!!" Then I look around, realize that I'm home, then I look down and mumble "shit."

Been a bit under the weather. My only display of discipline occurs when I'm sick. I will forgo any fun activities in an effort to rest and get well. I hate being sick and whenever I push the envelope, my body will revolt and make me get sicker. Looking unhealthy is nothing compared to being unhealthy.

I'm listening to my new Sirius Stiletto ST2. Howard Stern Show, particularly. I've never been one for the portable radio. Never wanted to be one of the Walkman Zombies walking around. I get disoriented, I think. I always found that to be antisocial. I should be more antisocial.

This isn't for you, it's for me. I don't have audio on my work computer and wanted to hear this later. Check it out, it might be the one thing to save this awful post:



I've got to get to work. Peace, fuckers.

goochout

Something that might get me laid...

AOL: 9 Reasons to date a nerd.

Lunch Time...

Another "Fuck with Gooch" picture. January 1, 2009.

Good Fucking Morning!

I just caught wind of a new Stallone movie called "The Expendables." It's slated to star Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, and others. I'm not saying that I smell Oscar. I mean, I smell something. However, can you think of a better movie into which you would sneak in a flask with some friends? I cannot.

I went to the gym this morning, despite not having any time to do so. I went on IMDB and found out that I've been cast in "The Expandables." It's a semi-action flick. I haven't been on a scale, but I'm guessing that my weight is reaching my high score on Pole Position.

Wow, I'm fat and old.

Kill:me

gooch:out

Resolution Pollution

I was asked about what my NYE resolutions were during breakfast yesterday. My overall resolve is to make 2009 suck way, way less than 2008. I plan on making more money. I plan on riding my bicycle again. I want to be a better soccer player. I want to drink less and sleep more. I want to eat less and run more. I want to move out of 97060.

Unfortunately, my immediate soccer plans may be derailed. The inflateable dome in which my league plays succumbed to the ice during "Arctic Blast 2008." Here's some pictures:

Before:

After:


This sucks. I was looking forward to playing again. This is like the Hindenburg without the humanity.

In other news, I've installed a fresh copy of Windows 7 Beta on my Virtual PC. Checking it out. Fun stuff. It could be the future of computing... or the birth of Linux as the next mainstream OS.

Anyways... I'm high off caffeine. Gonna go do stuff. It's hard getting up at the crack of 2pm.

goochout.

Happy New Year... Indeed.

Me, passed out just after midnight.

Gooch. The saga continues...

Last night was an epic journey including a slow dance, Papa Murphy's pizza, a strip club, a friend's house, and the following types of alcohol:

Home brewed beer (thanks Delvis)

Sailor Jerry's spiced rum

Vodka

Jagermeister

Champagne

I passed out and when I awoke, there was a camera next to me. I did what anyone else would do: I took out the card, hooked up a card reader that was in my car, started the upload of pictures of myself being molested to an ftp site, and headed out for some grocery shopping.

Oh, and threw up.

My phone died sometime before the new year. Thank God for GPS, otherwise I wouldn't have made my way to Marty's house (where I passed out). I think it should be legal to drink and drive if you have a GPS.

I'm curbing my gluttonous ways. I've put my personal finances on a pirated copy of Quicken. I'm keeping track of cash expenditures. I'm also restricting the diet. I'm so disgusted with myself that I actually turn myself off. I wont even give myself a tug at this point.

I've got a day date today. have to clean the house and maybe try to vomit again before she arrives.

It's so awesome being me.

goochout.