I just heard Britney Spears in an interview say that Rolling Stone "enhanced" her breasts on their latest cover. Actually, Britney, your parents enhanced your breasts when you were 17. If computers were that powerful, I'd spend more time on Photoshop then on internet porn.
< I'm not that literate.

I hurt my back a couple of days ago and now I'm bedridden. Some genius needs to invent a ceiling mounted television. I'm sure the liability on such an appliance would be pretty extreme, but I really could use it right now. Anyone have any duct tape?

Days off of work are wasted on the sick and injured.

Anyone have any ideas about what I should do with Fortyouncer.com? Let me know.

Also, I did an email link on one of my logs that went to "iamfuckingnuts@goochonline.com" and I've gotten three of the same virus sent to me from three different people. One of the senders was Giba Gallucci. Same last name, but no relation. Fucking weird.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been busy. Ben Gay. Ben Gay on my back. It hurts.

Email your love to me: gooch@goochonline.com

Click HERE for a cool Amazon.com list that I did a while back. I forgot that I did it. - g.

NEW COLUMN!

(and it's not one of those columns where I waited until the last minute and quickly compiled my logs for the month into a barely comprehensible body of writing. No... this time I waited until way past deadline and sat down to write an original barely comprehensible body of writing.)
Click on the "Columns" link in the menu above.

Shit. I suppose I could have mentioned that I was in Idaho over the Thanksgiving weekend. If you tried to get a hold of me and I didn't respond, that's my excuse. Hope everyone got home safely from wherever they went for T-Day. New column is in progress (only five days past deadline). -G

If someone has come to this site in a desperate attempt to get a hold of me, email: phone@goochonline.com (only 25 characters or so - be brief)

From the Genie column:

Three years before sitcom, "The Facts of Life" would feature a handicapped character (Geri), "Genie" would have Alex, a paraplegic with deductive powers impressive enough to be Genie's crime fighting consultant.

I was one of the first to recognize the importance of having token handicapped people in the cast of a television show. What I don't agree with, is having handicapped people write the script, as must've occurred for the Facts of Life reunion show last night.

Tried to watch it. Couldn't watch it. Really awful. Natalie's got two boyfriends? Tootie wants to be called Dorothy? Great plot twists. I was really on the edge of my seat. My toilet seat, anyway... emptyting the contents of my stomach.


You take the good/you take the bad/remove the good and there you have/The Facts of Life Reunion show

GOOCH: TRUE CONFESSIONS

I was at the cologne counter at a major department store last night when the clerk asked me if I was a Survivor fan. I, with all sincerity, responded with:

"You mean those guys who sang 'Eye of the Tiger' in Rocky?"

I really have my finger on the pulse of pop-culture, don't I?