I have nothing to say. I was just sick of seeing those two mugs below. Someone asked me recently as to how I got my face superimposed onto the pictures with the porn stars. She thought that I had used Photoshop or something to get my face onto those pictures. It really was me, baby. Click "PICS" above and select "porn star era..." to see what I'm talking about.

Joyce Dewitt and Michael Jackson: Separated at birth?

TV Commercial with me in it is available for stream on GoochRadio.com
[I'll write more about this later.]

Porcupines have their quills. Skunks have their musk. Humans? Human men have liquor dick. Liquor Dick: The body's natural defense against fucking ugly chicks.

I just had one person in a two hour time frame tell me via text message, instant message, and over the phone that I'm a loser that drinks too much. Like my self esteem needs to be taxed to that extreme. The fact that I'm hung over right now doesn't help either.

My commercial is out. I filmed a TV commercial in February and it has finally been released to the local market. It might be in Seattle and Michigan, too. I'll get a video capture and stream it as soon as I can.

Come and knock on our... whoa I don't feel so good.

Actor John Ritter: dead at 54.
Hollywood breathes a sigh of relief as the "8 Simple Rules" star rounds out the "death in threes" superstition. Others who fell within the last week or so are Charles Bronson and Johnny Cash.

Check out the last (tragic) blog. Whoa... typos and everything. That's just from three Jack Daniels and Diet Cokes in a one hour period. I guess all I had was a chef salad seven hours earlier, so it could be expected that I wasn't operating at full capacity. How could I type "absofuckinglutely" correctly, but "me" couldn't get out without the peripheral '3' getting hit? Anyway, I'm fucking bummed that Johnny Cash is gone. I'm sure the jukebox at the pub where I work will be playing "Ring of Fire" all night. Rest in peace, John R. Cash.

I'm absofuckinglutely shitfaced drunk. That will not ekeep me3 from bringing you the following news:

Johnny Cash dead at 71