Portland man killed at SE Portland bar, The Wetlands


I worked as a bouncer there once, for one night as a favor to a friend. Obviously this occurred on a night I wasn't working. As my friend Julie pointed out, you're not supposed to shoot someone on Christmas.

Bretibart: James Brown dead at 73

Gus Van Sant, director of Good Will Hunting arrested for DUI in Portland (CNN)

One of the cops involved should have said "How about them apples" during the arrest. Gee, Portland Oregon making national news again.

It's Christmas Eve-Eve.

Pee-Wee Herman Christmas Card, 2006

My friend Mike Henry, with whom I started in the writing world back in high school and mentioned in yesterday's blog, showed up in town for the holidays. We went out last night to some pretty mellow places. Got drunk, went home, I sent some drunken emails, passed out, now I gotta go to work.

Miss Nevada Dethroned for THESE PHOTOS [tmz.com]

You're welcome.

goochout

Christmas shopping: I bought my Mom an item then bought a bunch booze as gifts. I think I'm going on a gift certificate spree tonight. I think I got caught up in Christmas so early on (I had a tree before the 1st) that I forget that there's an actual holiday approaching.

MySpace: Isn't working right now.

Tanning: Went this morning, burned my face.

Diet and illness: So I'm kicking my own ass restricting calories and I get a stomach virus (or food poisoning... whatever) which caused me to throw up anything I ate? I can't eat any less; I need to keep down what little I do eat. If I have another South Beach Diet microwave meal I'm going to go on a shooting spree in the heart of South Beach (of course I'll spare my friend Mike Henry). Lost five more pounds in the last week, though.

Christmas Wish Run-on Sentence: I want a gawdamned Burgerville double-meat Tillamook cheeseburger with a double order of fries and, oh, about twenty tubs of the motherfucking special sauce that those cocksuckers started charging $.35/each for and I always forget to ask for them when I order so I have to ask for them at the window and if I don't have any cash I have to use my debit card for a $.70 purchase and I should just buy more than two but I always vow that this visit is my last Burgerville binge for a while and getting a surplus of sauces might sabotage that notion because... oh yeah... I'm gonna start working out tomorrow; this is my last hurrah... a fried orgy in my gut today and healthy living tomorrow because I will not buy ##in. waist pants but a binge today won't make a difference...

Trump vs. Frump: What the fuck is Donald Trump so pissed off at Rosie O'Dykel about? I'm looking into this. Yesterday I saw him going off on Rosie and, well, I couldn't agree more but when he threatened to send someone over to steal her girlfriend away from her... holy shit! If it's all real, I'm probably the biggest Trump fan ever as of... now. If it's not, and this is more contrived bullshit from a staged news conference, then fuck him.

I think my friend Chris did this video of my friend Nikki at a party last weekend. Here's my best friend for you:

I was so... fucking... sick yesterday. I think I feel better today. I couldn't sit up or stand up for more than a minute without passing out. If you look at the last blog I started losing it at the end... no "goochout" and I didn't format the last sentence to be normal sized font. all I did was click "publish" before I hit the couch. I haven't eaten since 8am yesterday morning. Right now I'm licking Theraflu residue from the bottom of my cup.

My ears ring... are you listenin'
forehead sweats... yes it's glistenin'
I puked all last night
This is starting to bite
Living in a Pepto coated land

I gotta work today. There's no getting around it. Those guys on Hood are probably dead, maybe you could send some of that sympathy my way?

I'm kidding. It's the daytime Theraflu talking.

I'm a dick!

goochout