I didn't watch the whole video. It starts with a clip about a 15 to 1 scale Atari controller that a guy built, which is freakin' sweet. After that is some sort of "Atari Therapy" bit.

I've gotta go, I'm going to go invent a baby monitor with a snooze button. I'm tired of seeing my friends with newborns so tired.

goochout

I was at an office. I was working on installing a check scanner on a computer. I went online to download the latest drivers for the scanner. The customer's home page in Internet Explorer was set to msn.com and a news blurb had popped up:

Where were you when you heard that Kevin Dubrow was dead?

Kevin Dubrow, dead at 52. Dubrow, of course, was the lead singer for the 80s metal band Quiet Riot.

I was ten-years-old in 1984. Back then, Portland radio station KMJK 106.7 ("Magic 107; back when decimals were irrelevant due to the ubiquity of analog tuning dials) had a "top ten at 10" radio show where the top songs of the day were played. As soon as the number one song started to play, listeners could call in and the 7th caller won the album containing the number one track. Cosmic John was the DJ. Every night I would listen and I would call, only to be greeted by a busy signal or a rare answer from the DJ himself, telling me I wan't a winner.

But one night while lying in bed surrounded by Empire Strikes Back wallpaper and flanked by my hermit crab tank, I was listening to my portable tape player/radio (a generic Walkman... the iPod of the times) when "Cum On Feel the Noize" started playing. I jumped off my bed, ran through the alcove and into my parents' room (they were still downstairs), grabbed the phone, and punched away at the dial pad.

One of four outcomes could occur when calling a radio station (in order of likeliness):

1: Busy signal
2: Ringing with the false hope of getting through, only to get the recorded message that "all circuits are busy."
3: Ringing with the DJ actually answering and telling you that you've lost.
4: The Holy Grail: "Number 7, you're a winner!"

The fourth outcome had presented itself to me, finally. I was so nervous about actually talking to the DJ, in my mind likely a highly paid celebrity who is probably flown in and out of work via helicopter in an effort to avoid the throngs of fans hanging around the station.

I had won Quiet Riot's "Metal Health" album. Of course, my Dad would have to pick it up from the station after work. In my nervousness, I mis-stated my address to the DJ. I was hoping that I hadn't somehow disqualified myself from receiving such a valuable gift. Fortunately, the next evening, my Dad appeared with the album. I immediately copied the LP to cassette (my first foray into media piracy, I suppose) and listened to the tape on my portable tape player/radio combo while lying in bed surrounded by Empire Strikes Back wallpaper and flanked by my hermit crab tank.

I was watching the History Channel today in an effort to learn stuff. Turns out Adolf Hitler was a real dick. If I was Jewish, I'd never take a shower. Baths only for this Heeb. I'd wrap every shower head in my home with a plastic bag and duct tape. Soap on a rope: out. Mr Bubble: in. I'd get suspended from school for refusing to shower after PE. I'd sue and make the school district put in a clawfoot tub in the communal shower in the locker rooms. I wouldn't ride trains either. Fuck trains. Showers... trains... fool me once, motherfuckers...

goochout

Ah... thankfulness.


I'm sitting on my couch with a laptop warming my balls and a High Definition presentation of Robocop on the plasma. I wound down the longest three day work week last night drinking and partying with friends at Montego's. I spent an entire day's pay last night, which means I'll be working as a DJ Friday night to offset my irresponsible expenditures.

Going to my Aunt and Uncle's for a serious ball-breaking... I mean Thanksgiving feast. It's a typical Italian meal where everyone fucks with each other, some physical contact, and lots of food. I already wrote one joke while on the road yesterday:

Hey, [cousin's name]: I hear you were employee of the day at your new job. Oh... wait... you were employed for a day at your new job.

Last night a girl that used to dance at an upscale strip club found were way to the stage at Montego's, reputedly a "divey" strip club. Q-Ball, aka Ryan the bartender there stated that Montego's is where good strippers go to pasture. I commented that Montego's is to strippers as the showers were to the Jews. It's not that bad. We actually get a lot of hot girls before they realize that they're too good for the place. That's when we shine.

I forgot how awesome Robocop is. I'm thankful for robocop.

Um, uh... fuck?

Ex-Secret Service agent gets 2 years for stealing from elderly woman

Secret Service agent is fined, scolded for $30K fraud

Thanks to Anonymous for the tip.

I have a senior class picture hanging in my office here. I can count at least 50 people I'd pick out to be convicted of a crime before Jared Dullum.

In Other news:

Portland Police seek suspect in deadly drive-by shooting

I was at a bar last night and a girl that used to work at another bar with my ex-girlfriend told me that a guy that used to work at that bar got shot and killed. She thought I'd know him or know about the incident but I didn't so I called my ex-girlfriend's best friend, who is a manager at that bar who then called another manager and called me back and told me it was John Stewart. I still didn't know who it was. The next day I was talking to a friend of mine who told me that her daughter's uncle had been shot recently. I asked if it was John Stewart and she said yes. I told her that last night the sister of a guy that is a regular at a bar that she used to work at used to work with John Stewart and told me that he got shot and that I might know him.

Small world.

goochout

Rachel Nichols is starring in the new movie P2. It's not the sequel to 'P' or 'P1'. Like when 'Malcolm X' came out and I was trying to rent 'Malcolms' I through IX. It's named after the garage level that I always go to when I park on P1. I then get out of the elevator and pretend like I meant to go to P2 and then walk up the stairs to P1. What I just wrote has more of a plot structure than what the P2 movie's trailers demonstrate. What the movie has that this blog doesn't?

Nichols' enormous "I'm taking on serious acting roles now" cleavage.

Fixing that... right... now:



I just saved you a $9 movie ticket. $18 if you were going to take a date. But you weren't. So, it's $9.

goochout.

Seen this before. Thought I'd post it. - gooch