Morning Wood...

Porn Star Lisa Ann as "Serra Paylin" from Hustlers upcoming epic: "Nailin' Paylin"

What an uncanny likeness.

Link to an excerpt from the script HERE

Back to work.

goochout.

Science News...

Reuters: New material pushes the boundary of blackness

Wesley Snipes has met his match.

Heh,

goochout.

Back to the grill...

I'm shirking all work obligations in an effort to get domesticated tonight. Primarily because a friend of mine almost cried when she saw my house when she came over to take care of the cat three days ago.

So I'll take care of the house, put something besides condiments in the fridge, put some wine in my empty wine fridge.

A girl I've been dating may stumble on this site soon. She's smart, she can Google, she can spell my last name. I've asked her not to visit the site. I feel the temptation is overwhelming and she'll ultimately ignore my wishes. If this site cockblocks me I swear to God I'm pulling the plug.

Of course, people can't help but love me with my five year old epic: The Breakup Column. It's a timeless piece that holds up after two additional failed relationships. Girls that I date either love it or find me a little jaded and undesirable after reading it.

Others think I should write something new and not hold on to a piece of unpublished writing that's half a decade old. And by "others," I mean me.

Some people play "hard to get." I play "hard to want." - Andrew Dice Clay. I think.

I am Gooch, hear me bore.

out.

Morning Wood...

Nigella Lawson.

I guess she cooks stuff(?) - She bakes, has a huge rack and is sponsored by Sara Lee. Put a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a universal remote in the other, and you have the perfect wife.

Good:Morning

Gooch:Out

Audio Moblog

UPDATE 10-12-08: I don't remember calling this in, nor have I listened to it yet. I leave this to you, the reader/listener as an unfiltered post. You deserve it.

I'm coming home soon. The cat as been looked after and fed.

I've discovered that bloody marys are not just a breakfast drink. You can, in fact, enjoy them for lunch, dinner, or even a midnight snack. Fun!

This is the first time I've touched a computer for 48 hours. Felt good. I did hover over my Palm a bit.

I'm refreshed. Looking forward to work, a feeling I seldom, you know, feel.

gooch:out

Morning Wood...

Successors to the Whores Next Door?

Now that Hef has had to cut back on "staff" at the Playboy Mansion (obviously meaning his three, ahem, girlfriends who are exiting stage: right) he's tapping (ahem, again) a pair of 19 year old twins to take over.

Shannon Twins Myspace page

TMZ: Hef's girls put the 'jail' in jailbait

gooch:out

Idea for my next birthday cake...

A Motherboard Cake. I want this. Someone work on it. You've got six months and 10 days.

I think I'm just going to rip everything off from Geekologie today. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Not so much plagiarism. I digress.

I'm so fucking stressed right now. If I could somehow get a back rub, a foot massage and smoke a joint while someone blows me, it might put a dent in my tenseness.

Even if I wasn't stressed, wow... how cool would that be!

I need a vacation.

goochout.