I'm in a fucking mood. I think I've been kind of a dick today. I've taken care of responsibilities, helped people out (in three distinct cases today). Otherwise, I've insulted and hurt the feelings of other people. Sometimes I think they deserved it. Sometimes I don't. I haven't really thought about it as it would kill my self contented buzz that's carried me through the day.
I will drink tonight. I will probably say something to get me punched. It won't be the first time, nor the last. I feel like running through town like a nineties rap video. You know what I'm talking about?
Heh, me neither.
Caffeine's kicking the fuck in. My extremeties are starting to hurt and my vision's getting blurry. Must lift or jog or something.
Thought this was a funny clip. I like the YouTube. I don't think I've given it as much time as I should. Which means I've treated it like this website. A lot of bloggers take the summer off. Maybe I should have and then written a "What I Did This Summer" summary. I've done a lot this summer; I'm actually trying to say no to events/projects/activities. In an effort to stay somewhat interesting, I still say yes to things.
I need to go to Europe. I always meet chicks that ask me where I've traveled and I always feel a sense of inadequacy when they've backpacked through France and I've merely drank my way through Maui.
"John, have you ever been to a third world country?"
"Um... Florida?"
It's a weird thing, dating. There's no anonymity anymore. If you meet someone, you can learn everything about them pretty quickly. Google, Facebook, MySpace, personal blogs, uploaded sex videos by angry ex boyfriends... everything about everyone is available via the interweb. It's our own fault. It's like the hangover at the end of a self exploitation party.
I'm self employed. My livelihood depends on people trusting me to work on their computers. Should I really have this website for current and potential customers to see what a degenerate I am? Should clients see me typing obscenities like shit, fuck, cock, Rush Limbaugh, and bukkake? Should clients read my having to explain what bukkake is? (or Rush Limbaugh).
Truth be told, we seem to be a culture that lets people get away with stuff. Ted Kennedy fucking drowned a chick and waited 10 hours (you know, for the scotch to work its way out of his fat ass) to report it to authorities. Michael Jackson molested kids. Hell... I'm watching porn on one monitor while I type this on another. The truth is, if you're good at your occupation, it doesn't seem to matter how you conduct yourself in your personal life.
Portland Mayor Sam Adams would be jerking himself off to that last paragraph. Either to that last paragraph or a picture of Macaulay Culkin age 12. This doesn't apply to you, Sam. You drunk driving slut. Oh yeah... I'm more pissed at Adams for that drunk driving deal (and the cops for not pursuing it) then his ass-pounding of a 17 year old.
How the fuck do you illegally pass on the right, drive your car into another (parked) car pushing it through a parking lot while accelerating the entire time, emerge from your car with your pants undone, have beer on your breath, and don't even get a parking ticket? I swear to fucking christ if I cross over the center line at 2am, there's a fucking SWAT team barreling down on me.
I know it's old news, but I'm still pissed about it. Oops... insert the word "alleged" above, wherever you see fit. Or don't.
On September 11th, 2009, I'm ordering drinks in tall identical glasses two at a time; drinking one really fast and then the other equally as fast. Then some hippies are gonna say that I didn't drink them, but the US government did. They're going to say that my mouth alone couldn't have caused those drinks to fall so fast; there had to be an accelerant of some sort.
I've had a significant lack of creativity lately. Trying to be funny on command has been a failure as of late. Plus, trying to make daily posts to Facebook without sounding like a self adoring/self loathing puke like everyone else on FB has jerked my giant penis of creativity to exhausted flaccidity.
Yeah, I just wrote that.
You see, Facebook is a lot of people's first foray into publishing themselves into the masses. People think that their daily minutia is interesting to the public in general. This can be attributed directly to the wholesale issuance of reality shows to... ah... fuck it. Don't get me started on that topic again.
So here's a blast from the past. Reno last year... drunken phone call from the hotel room after a night out. I don't think I've listened to this personally:
I tried to watch a Kate Gosselin interview on the Today Show a couple days ago. The phony tears, manufactured smile, scripted answers (you can tell they're scripted when they don't actually answer the question asked). I had to change the channel.
Reality TV used to be cool when it reflected, you know, reality. Even if it was people reacting to an artificial environment, at least there was some genuine glimpse into human nature.
Now it's all bullshit. Reality TV is like a cancer spreading throughout modern television. The Learning Channel is now "TLC," MTV no longer refers to itself as "Music Television," other cable channels are hopping on the reality show bandwagon with the most obscure couples and their antics. Style Network has "Giuliana and Bill?" Giuliana DePandi, an anchor on E! used to refer to herself simply as "Giuliana." Here's another fucked up part about entertainment: EVERYONE THINKS THEY'RE A CELEBRITY. Just because you're on TV does NOT mean you're meant to be famous and have a reality show.
It's offensive to me. It's offensive to me in the same way that a stripper can be offensive to me. I no longer can sit at the rack. Not because I have an aversion to seeing vag up close. No... because in my stupid neurotic head I don't want a stripper to think that I think that she wants to fuck me. Reality TV is presented to the audience as reality when it is more manufactured and scripted than some genuine sitcoms that rely on spontaneity and ad libbing (Curb Your Enthusiasm) as a comedic device.
Self manufactured celebrity creeps into all aspects of life. I was mortified one day. I was sitting in the Portland State University (my alma mater) commons waiting for a line at the ATM to die down. It was Halloween time and the back page of the Vanguard (the school newspaper) had full size pictures of the faces of the two editors. The eyes and mouths were dotted with instructions to cut them out of the paper (as well as the outline of their heads) and ultimately you'd have a Halloween mask of their faces. Because the students at PSU give enough of a shit about the editors at the school paper.
You see, the two editors of the Vanguard are somewhat public figures. You see, because their names are in a paper read by (ahem) a couple thousand people, they deem themselves as personalities. Characters, if you will, that the general public thinks about when they're eating at Smith Center and they can't find a copy of ANY OTHER NEWSPAPER and the Vanguard is all that's available.
This was a few years ago, but my point is that we're in a culture that has spawned a generation of "look at me" motherfuckers. Jon and Kate had a bunch of kids and got a reality show... "Octomom" Nadya Suleman had kids specifically to get a reality show (Fox, of course took the bait and is doing a documentary of some sort). Giulana DePandi (the E! News anchor) reads the news and starfucked her way into a reality show. Local network news pimps their weathermen as some sort of personality that should make me want to tune in. I hate it. Whenever someone on local or national news tries to do something cute in an effort to draw me in... I can't grab for the remote fast enough. Please: Read the news, predict the weather, and edit the fucking newspaper. You're not celebrities. You do not have jobs that were meant to be "celebrated."
[sort of a raw, unedited post. I didn't feel like going through it again... sort of a purge through the keyboard and onto your monitor. And face. I'll get you a towel.]
