I just got done working out for the first time in a couple weeks. Felt good. I'll admit, the Valpolicella wine I'm drinking is not much of a post-workout drink; but fuck it, I'm Italian.
Speaking of Italy, I got about 50 pictures of Sara Rue emailed to me from a SR fan in Italy with grandiose wishes for her 27th birthday. I think it's been about a year since the Sara Rue camp threatened to sue me for the domain name I purchased (sararue.com). Indeed, they'll Rue the day they threatened me with legal action. You heard me... start ruing!
I guess there will probably be a lot of thirty-something fat guys like myself trimming down after Chris Penn was determined to have died of natural causes. Natural causes? I call bullshit. Every time some fat fuck drops dead before the age of forty-five and they call it "natural" I say they're full of shit. Die at 80 of natural causes. Die at 40 weighing three hundred pounds with a coke straw by your head and your wallet being pulled out of your pocket by some fifty dollar whore.
I'm not saying this is how Chris Penn died, but it sounds pretty goddamned probable. According to MSNBC: "Penn had suffered from an illness and used multiple drugs in the past," said David Smith, a Los Angeles County coroner’s spokesman. Smith declined to elaborate on the illness, but I'm guessing it was fatfuckitis. I've been a sufferer for years. Oh well, rest in peace Chris. Maybe in Heaven you won't have to be known only as the younger brother of Oscar winner and arrogant prick Sean Penn. I mean, no one that fucking cocky gets to go to Heaven, right?
Where am I going and what am I doing in this handbasket?
goochout.
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