I've had the benefit of going 32 years withoug losing anyone too close to me. By losing anyone close to me, I mean dying. Unfortunately I'm thinking that my luck is starting to run out. A family friend, a friend I knew through the music scene with whom I became close, and my Grandmother (this week) have passed away this year.
I don't know how to grieve. I mean, should I feel guilty if I don't cry? What if I cry at an inappropriate time? If I look emotionless, will someone think me cold or that I don't care?
My natural inclication is to in fact isolate myself and grieve in my own way. Wednesday evening, after I found out my Grandma died, I went home and went to the gym for the first time in two months. Then I showered, went back home, drank wine and watched South Park until I fell asleep. Invitations to go out were declined. No trips to the bar or strip club. Just half a bottle of shiraz and an hour of Cartman before I fell asleep.
Is that wrong? Is there a better, more appropriate way to be sad? Maybe it's a stupid question, but it crossed my mind during the last two months.
1 comment:
Update your shit Gooch!
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