I'm so shy that sometimes I can't even tell a girl that I'm interested in her until after we've had sex.
- John "Gooch" Gallucci, 2006

Sorry for the lack of updates. Going through a weird "Office Space" like trance where I don't pay attention really to what's happening but everything goes my way. I can do no wrong this week. Chicks like me, everyone is laughing at my jokes, computers are getting fixed with ease. I don't know what's going on, maybe Grandma is looking over me (the funeral this last Monday is what I believe to be the emotional incident that led me into this "groove," if you will) or something. I just hope she's not looking over me during the "chicks like me" part of the week.

goochout.

P.S. - Grandma, if they have the internet in Heaven, please don't read this website. Love you, John.

I've had the benefit of going 32 years withoug losing anyone too close to me. By losing anyone close to me, I mean dying. Unfortunately I'm thinking that my luck is starting to run out. A family friend, a friend I knew through the music scene with whom I became close, and my Grandmother (this week) have passed away this year.

I don't know how to grieve. I mean, should I feel guilty if I don't cry? What if I cry at an inappropriate time? If I look emotionless, will someone think me cold or that I don't care?

My natural inclication is to in fact isolate myself and grieve in my own way. Wednesday evening, after I found out my Grandma died, I went home and went to the gym for the first time in two months. Then I showered, went back home, drank wine and watched South Park until I fell asleep. Invitations to go out were declined. No trips to the bar or strip club. Just half a bottle of shiraz and an hour of Cartman before I fell asleep.

Is that wrong? Is there a better, more appropriate way to be sad? Maybe it's a stupid question, but it crossed my mind during the last two months.

Um... shit. Sorry it's been so long since a post. Been busy at an office filling in for Gregster as he's in Mexico on a three week trip of self discovery. Well, by "self" I mean tequila and by discovery I mean "drinking."

God... I'm not even trying at my jokes anymore.

Had an impromptu gathering at my house at 3am last night. That was, um, rewarding. Spent an evening with a girl with an incredible jonesing for ESPN. She hates the A's. Loves the wall mounted TV. That's all I remember.

God, the Sirius Radio just played a Morrisey song and a Pet Shop Boys song back to back. My asshole has never been tighter.


goochout.

I didn't sleep last night. I have a friend with whom I'm able to talk incessantly and we were up until 3:00. I couldn't get to sleep once I got to bed. Then the anxiety kicks in... "should I take a sleeping pill? I don't want to oversleep. God, I'm never going to sleep. If I don't sleep then I'll perform horribly at work. This anxiety is keeping me up. Watch a movie. Jerk off. Jerk off again. Go for a record. This porn is lame. Watch another movie. Turn on the classical music channel on Music Choice."

I redid my company billing system somewhat. Sent some invoices, redid the website a bit. Answered emails. Showered, went to work. Now I'm exfuckinghausted. The anxiety of having a lot of outstanding invoices might have contributed to my anxiety. I'm writing like an idiot. Did you see that sentence? I just noticed I used "anxiety" twice. My brain is shot. I'm in charge of a 64 workstation network at the moment. If they only knew.

I'm tired boss... dog tired.

goochout

I don't care what anyone says, Wedding Crashers is way funnier than Brokeback Mountain.

MY PARENTS, CIRCA 1970.

So sweet, their whole lives ahead of them and they spawned me.

Gotta go, I'm late for my DJ shift at the strip club.

goochout.

I don't like bringing work into this website, but I have to say it:

Fuck Geek Squad.

Fuck their VW Beetles, their stupid black shoes, white socks... whatever. I do not want my industry to be diluted into gimmicky advertising devices and mediocre service.

Those ridiculous commercials with the jet packs and fake badges? Let me tell you something, a fake badge presented upon arriving at your house or business should not instill confidence. It should instill annoyance.

Keep it real. I won't even mention my company name or domain as that's not really my point here. Always stick with local independent contractors for any work or service you have done.

I'm going to stop before I start waving a flag and singing the American Anthem.

goochthefuckout.