Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been fifteen days since my last confession...
GOOCH: True Troutdale Story
I had recently moved to Troutdale and was recently single. My appearance and hygeine had become crucial as I endeavored more and more to meet the hot Troutdale bitches I'd heard so much about. I even resorted to using moistened towlettes during the course of ass-wiping just so wouldn't have that "no so fresh" feeling.
I had just finished taking a deuce when I blindly reached into the cabinet for a towlette. I grabbed one from a dispenser and, well, wiped. I got up and went to sit at the computer when my ass started to hurt. It was a dull burn quickly increasing to excruciating pain. I went to the bathroom to do... I don't know... something... when I looked down into the cabinet able to see what I couldn't when I was sitting on the toilet. I'd grabbed a Lysol disinfectant household wipe instead of the baby-wipe, both in similar packaging/dispensers. I unwittingly had rubbed chemicals into the most sensitive part of my body. And it hurt.
Bad.
Later, after the pain and tears subsided, I went to have a quick drink with some friends. I didn't know anyone that well, but the conversation got quiet, so I started one...
"Guess what I wiped my ass with an hour ago?"
Good ice-breaker, indeed.
GOOCH: Um... out?
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