Wednesday, February 20, 2002

I'm pretty sure that among the many faults of local television news, the heavy reliance on weather forecasts to entice viewers to watch is pretty pathetic. I live in Portland. It rains, followed by sunbreaks, then more rain. If I lived in Kansas or somewhere that the weather forecast is important to the safety of people and property, I'd watch the weather forecasts every day.

But again, this is Portland. I can't imagine anyone here giving a shit about the weather. They must, though. They must care. But why? It doesn't affect what most people in Portland do on a daily basis, which is go to strip clubs and drink overpriced beer. Portland, OR has more strip clubs per capita than anywhere else in the country. Local news should set aside that bullshit weather forecast and give a rundown on which stripper is dancing where, which stripper has the best coke, where the drink specials are, the two for one couch dances, etc. Let's give Portland news it can use!


(from cindymargolis.com)

Sunday, February 17, 2002

Spam coming from -anything-@goochonline.com is not authorized by me,
John "Gooch" Gallucci. How ironic that only a few hours after I make fun of spammers, I become a "spammer" myself (unintentionally). People are getting email from spammers using my domain. I'm really fucking flattered that I was chosen. I hate spammers. Shrivel up and die you degenerate punks. When you go to hell (and you will go to hell) Satan himself will make you push the 'delete' button over and fucking over again for an ETERNITY!.

I think that the following is, like, the #1 cause for fraud complaints in Oregon. I love getting these serious requests for "immediate assistance" ended with "Do You Yahoo?" I don't think even Carmen Santiago (spelling?) knows where the hell LOME-TOGO is. All of the discrete and thorough investigation this guy did to find me and it didn't occur to him to hit the fucking 'SPELL CHECK' button. This letter (a fraud) is obviously the work of a honky. A honky who, no doubt, assumed that foreign bankers can't spell. Or afford a real email address.

ATTN, John Gallucci

After a discreet but through investigation
at the foreign office of the Lome chambers of
commerce, Where I, of course, register every yearI with absolute confidence in the legality
of
your company and Intergrity of your
person Obviously not a regular visitor to this site.Essentially
the business I am about to commence fundamentally
based on trust and sense of propose.
Briefly I am Mr Johnson A very Lome-Togoan name., the manager Bill and
exchange of the
foreign remittance department of
international bank of Africa LOME-TOGO.

In my departement, I discovered an over invoice sum
of
$35.2 million US dollars(thirty five million two
hundred thounsand US dollars) Thanks for the clarificationin an account that
belongs to one of our foreign customer, who died
along
with his entire family on november 1999 in a plane
crash. His loss: Our gain, baby... YEAH!
Since I got informations about his death, I
have been expecting his next of kin to come over and
claim his money because we can not release it unless
somebody applies for it as his next of
kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our
banking guide lines and laws. But unfortunately I
learnt Oh, man... I feel a major Tonya Harding joke brewing
that his supposed next of kin or relation
died along side with him in the plane crash, leaving
nobody behind for the claim, it is therefore upon
this
discovery that I now, wish to make this business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the
next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety
and
subsequent this disbusement since nobody is comming
for it and I do not want this money to go into the
bank treasury as unclaimed.The bank law and guide
line
here stipulated that if such money remained
unclaimed
after four years, the money will be transfered into
the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request for
foreigner as next of kin in this business is
accasioned by the fact that the customer was a
foreigner and an indigene cannot stand as next of
kin
to this family I therefore wish to contact you and
seek for your assistance, to help me claim this
money
from the bank and transfer it into your company
account or private account. You will equaly make an
arrangement for me to visit your country for
disbursement after the money must have been
transfered.

For all the pains and assistance I am offering you
25%
of the total money.Another 5% will be for any
expenses
both local and international. 70% will before me and
my family. Therefore to enable the immediate
transfer
of this fund to you as arranged you must apply first
to the bank as a relation or next of kin of the
deceased, indicating your bank name,your bank
account
number,your private telephone and the fax number for
easy and effective communication and location where
the money will be remitted. I will not fell to bring
to your notice that this transaction is hitch free
and
that you should not entertain any atom of fear as
all
require arrangemnts have been made for the transfer,
but should be confidential Let's only communicate through secure means, like Yahoo email accounts. You should please
contact
me immediately as soon as you go through the
message.
In the hope that we can enter into a good business
venture.Telephone 00228 945 42 41
Best Regards,

Mr Johnson.

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