And at the 11:11...

Update: Wrestler who discarded medal expelled from Games

I think there's an error in the story, or the International Weightlifting Federation has far reaching powers:

Abrahamian never expressed regret or offered an apology, the IOC said. The international weightlifting federation was asked to consider further
sanctions against him.

I would imagine that "International Weightlifting Federation" would be capitalized, and what the hell would they have to do with wrestling, the sport in which the athlete in question is involved?

******

A good Oprah article HERE

Yes, I said "good Oprah article."

Fuck off.

******
For no reason whatsoever...

Temperature in my office at 6pm today: 97.7 degrees farenheit. I've shut down both the music and porn hard drives for fear of damage from the heat. My CPU and motherboard are surprisingly okay.

Because, you know, you give a shit.

goochthefuckout

Already practicing not being minorities...

Second Spanish Team Picture Surfaces With Slit-Eye Gesture

What... white people monopolized racial epithets, taunts, and gestures? I think since it's been announced that whites will be the minority by 2042, we should really be worried about Asians making "round-eye" gestures about us.

I'm going to be a minority in less than thirty years and I don't even know how to vacuum, clean a toilet or make a bed. I did start practicing folding a corner on my new toilet paper rolls, which I replace every time a guest leaves.

In 2043, I'll be working in a drive-thru getting yelled at by Mexicans to "learn the language... Spanish motherfucker... Spanish!" I'm already saving my place in line at the day labor center.

Heh.

goochout.

Good Morning, Suckas!

The Smoking Gun: Mom used 12-year-old as designated driver.

The ability to be a designated driver is the reason I've been trying to adopt/foster 16-year-olds for the last 10 years. "Unsuitable for parenting..." my ass!

I'm really up this early. It's 6am. Holy shit. Why can't I sleep in like the normal degenerates do? Is it because I take afternoon naps... like a normal degenerate?

I think I blew a give-a-shit fuse. Maybe it's the heat. I'm perplexing people with my apathy. I'm sorry, it's not intentional.

out.

give-a-shit fuse?

And at the 11:11...

They have Olympic womens beach volleyball on Comcast On Demand. Something to do tonight, indeed. Break out the lotion. If the American team doesn't get the gold, I will personally give them a pearl medal when they come home.

goochout

Wow... that just sounded creepy.

It's not the heat... it's the stupidity.

In the bedroom, it's a pleasant 73 degrees. Outside the fortress of solitudinal air conditioning, however, it's reaching the triple digit mark, yo. It's 7:pm and it's this hot?

In other news, I've determined that there are two types of women that I attract: Shit Crazy and Batshit Crazy. That's it - there's the two categories. I may attract others, but those are the ones I select to go out with.

Gooch Interesting Fact: I met a girl at church once, but she broke it off when she saw me putting Monopoly money in the collection basket. Church security guards can be very rough.

I'm tired. It's Friday and I have no cash card (waiting for a new one to get sent) and the three American Express cards I have in my wallet are seldom taken at the places in which I hang out. I'm going to take some change to a Taco Bell and rent a movie on the On Demand.

goochout

Good morning, suckas!

Whites No Longer the Majority by 2042

I'm already practicing the phrase "What do you mean... you people?"

heh...

gooch:out

At the 11:11...

Not on the SATs...

Country music is to black people as Wagner is to Jewish people.

4:30... cut out early before Lumberg sees you.

The Olympic Spirit in full effect, boyee!

Apparently this guy was disqualified at some point - perhaps his singlet got stuck in his vagina. Front wedgies are a bitch.

She's hated this site longer than anyone...

Happy Birthday, Cheryl.

(picture taken in 2000)

Unscathed

Despite marinating my liver in Jack Daniels, I feel great.

Haven't eaten yet today, starving.

Wow, this post went nowhere.

Morning After Pill.

Marty and I got to hang out last night. We went out for "one drink," which became an epic saga spanning three bars, a Taco Bell, an angry girlfriend, a drunken text message, and ultimately a couch.

A lot of things happened last night. Among them, I saw a cool tattoo. Here it is. Going back to couch.

It's the Reservoir Dogs poster silhouette. I instantly recognized it and thought it was cool.

gooch:out.

contentsofmystomach:soontobeout

After Lunch Time...

I like this video for several reasons. First off: I've never seen an elbow do that... ever. Second: the olympics already have in place a team of munchkins with boards to block off view of medical work being done. I need a team like that. Whenever I fuck up, little Asian kids would block me off from the view of bystanders. Get too drunk, try to bang an ugly chick, forget my zipper... the little team will protect me from lookers on while I resolve the issue. Third, I think the announcers say something like "we don't need to see it again" and two more angles are shown.

And at the 11:11...

Another item picked up from another blog...

Wikipedia: August 13 is International Left Handers Day

I write and throw items with my left hand, but that's about it. I bowl, golf, dribble a basketball, JO, and (ahem) play bass guitar with my right hand (and kick with my right foot). This is a stupid designation for a day. If no one notices or cares, does it really exist?

Gooch: Womb Raider

I read other blogs, like The Superficial. There's a posting about a new Lara Croft model promoting a game, movie... some product I neither care about nor would ever purchase. The publicity shots are awful. Knee scars, chest moles, 5 o'clock shadow around the groin. I'm not even going to throw in my "Womb Raider" punchline [update: it's in the post title]. I mean she's hot, like a girl at a party who'd need to develop a full buzz before I'd talk to her. I'd get her alone, say... as she came out of the bathroom and in conversation try to work the fact that every guy in the room, except for me, has some sort of STD. I would then quickly follow that with something clever and subtle, like "will you have sex with me?"

The Superficial: Alison Carroll is the new face/chest of Lara Croft

Lunch Time...

My friends are putting a "pole room" in their house. It's a room with a pole in it. This is the work in progress [see picture above]. I'm thinking about putting a stripper dressing room in my house. I can smell the marijuana and baby wipes already!

goochout

And at the 11:11...

gooch:drunk...

My friend Delvis is a Premier bass player. That's a capital 'P,' FYI.

He secretly videotaped me (I thought he was waiting to take a picture) playing his bass guitar. It's not pretty, it's sorta funny. I saved it for the 11:11.

gooch:out

Lunch Time...

From CNN.com...

The weekend haul lifted the Warner Bros. [The Dark Knight] to No. 3 on the all-time
domestic box-office charts with $441.5 million, behind only "Titanic" ($600.8
million) and the original "Star Wars" ($461 million)...

...However, the numbers reflect today's higher admission prices, and "The Dark Knight" will not approach "Star Wars" or "Titanic" in terms of actual number of tickets sold. Taking inflation into account, "The Dark Knight" would need to pull in about $900 million to match the number of tickets sold for "Titanic" and about $1.2 billion to equal "Star Wars."

Interesting stats. Also, when Star Wars came out, there wasn't the proliferation of home theaters, cable, VCRs, bittorrent, and other means of alternative entertainment. It's a lot harder now to bring in the numbers that Star Wars and other movies did in the seventies and earlier.

I saw The Dark Knight last night. It lives up to the hype. Packed theater in the fourth week. It's a 2.5 hour movie and I didn't think to look at a watch during the entire showing. I was riveted, more or less, the entire time.

A third movie in the newest Batman franchise is in production. Looking forward to it.

Goochout

Bad news to go to sleep to...

Isaac Hayes Dead at 65

He wrote the theme song to "Shaft" and was the voice of Chef on South Park. Scientology made him a bit nutty and he left South Park a few years ago. I know that Mr. Hayes is in Heaven now. He's having sex with copious amounts of white women and buying drinks from my Grandfather, likely the bartender in Heaven.

Dont' celebrities die in threes? First Bernie Mac, then Isaac Hayes... a third black male celebrity is surely going to die. Either someone is going to kick the bucket, or the evil figure, "Death" is pissed off that Morgan Freeman survived. Freeman was supposed to be the first, then Bernie Mac, then Isaac Hayes. Morgan Freeman better watch out - he may die in a "Final Destination" style death. Just to be safe, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle should lock themselves in padded rooms for a while.

R.I.P. Chef.

Gooch:Out

Isaac Hayes and Bernie Mac:Out