I think I'm probably the most misunderstood person on the planet. Things I say and do are always perceived differently than I truly intend. I could cure cancer and people would assume that I did it in order to get a blow job from a chemotherapy patient simply to "make it with a bald chick."

Lindsay Lohan. I'd imagine that one of the life rules you take away from rehab is that you stay away from drugs and the drug environment. You don't, as she claims she was doing, hold someone else's cocaine for them. Desparation leads to some pretty bullshit stories. I can't believe I used to jerk off to her. She reminds me of those hot chicks that you meet, hang out with, drink and do drugs with, have sex with, and then she starts banging some other guy because it's "his turn" and then you forget her name. I think Lindsay Lohan is the Hollywood equivalent of every stripper I met in 2006. Good for her. She'll be doing 3AM infomercials for penis enlarging pills by 2008.

goochout.

I hate that the most productive instruments on the planet, computers, are also enabled with the most time wasting instrument on the planet, the world wide web. It's like putting a Game Boy on the end of a surgeon's scalpel. "Sure, I need to make this incision, but maybe I'll see if TMZ's been updated again."

jg|out

I don't trust these motherfuckers.

Respect my obscurity!

BBC: Singer Billy Joel in car accident (4/26/2004)

There was some confusion regarding my Billy Joel reference. The above link should clear it up.

goochout.

Nursed a hangover today while I worked on writing wedding vows for a wedding I'm going to perform this weekend. It's awesome that someone that was so recently jaded on relationships is gearing up to help two people join in marriage, the ultimate relationship. It's like hiring Billy Joel to be a school bus driver.

It's an honor to be asked to perform this wedding as it is for my girlfriend's Mom and Fiancee. I'm going to be in the wedding photos. This is an enormous leap of faith for my GF because there's always the chance that in twenty years the Minister that performed her Mom's wedding will be the forgotten asshole that she used to date.

She's staying at her Mom's for the next couple of days helping set up for the wedding. I'm chilling at the condo without adult supervision. I watched Entourage tonight and I caught a TOTALLY intentional upskirt beav-shot at the opening of the scene at the Finish Line shoe store. High definition TV kicks ass.

I'm gonna get some Z's. Is it weird that I have a laptop computer designated for the nightstand? Is it weird that I use it for something besides porn?

goochout

heh.

goochout.