Soooo...

Big day Friday for me and the band Perfect in Plastic. Friday morning I'll be at KNRK on the Gustav and Daria morning show. I'll be shooting some video and playing some percussion instruments with the band (which should be interesting). Also, Friday night: Perfect in Plastic is playing at the Fez Ballroom where I'll be doing the lights. With all of the peripheral band involvement I've had over the years, it's almost certain that I'm going to be on True Hollywood Stories someday.

So, let me try to sum up this weekend in a paragraph or two...

Friday Night: Details are sketchy. My friend Ryan turned 29 the day before so he, I, and six others crammed into a limo and hopped from club to club. Limos are cool because you can (legally) drink en route to the next club. The drinking never has to stop. I remember hanging out with a black guy and calling one of the girls in our group a "cracker bitch." I thought I was cool.

I woke up the next morning feeling good. No hangover, no headache, no cottonmouth, holy Jesus... I was still drunk. It was 9 in the fucking morning and the thought of urinating in my bed (and consequently, on my girlfriend) seemed like a better prospect than having to walk the ten feet to my bathroom.

Saturday: I didn't leave the house all day. I spent a fair amount of time with my head in the toilet (which is appropriate, since I felt like an ass). I survived on a peanut butter sandwich until I mustered up the change to have Dominoes Pizza deliver food. I think I'm eligible for a Portraits of Courage article in the paper.

Sunday: Finally went and saw "Jackass," which is the funniest movie released this year. Any movie with cameo appearances by Tony Hawk, Henry Rollins, Mat Hoffman, and Rip fuckin' Taylor has to be a winner. Lots of scenes from Portland, which was intriguing.

Anyone who visits this site with any regularity knows that I fucking hate the movie theatre experience. Spending $8.50 to see a movie that's going to be on DVD in two months, having some dumbshit(s) behind me yappin' their fat mouths... trying to predict shit out loud... I'll make it okay to yell "FIRE" in the theatre one day when I get so pissed off that I actually torch the place with all of you annoying SOBs trapped inside.

Anyway, I figured that Jackass had finally made its way into mainstream culture and that no theatre would let a kid in, much less would a parent bring their little brats into a public theatre. Fuck me if right behind me I had a family of three sit down. The ten-year old was laughing so hard that he couldn't stop from kicking my chair and his STUPID mom actually said (seven times she repeated this... I counted) "I had no idea that it was going to be like this!" IT'S JACKASS YOU IDIOT! Leno and everyone's been talking about it for a fucking month and you have the maternal balls to plead ignorance OUT LOUD! Next time I go see a movie, I'm bringing a claw-hammer.

< Look! some idiot put "gooch" on his license plates - he must be a HUGE Jackass fan.