With all of my Zima slamming lately, based on their's and other (I guess they're referred to as) Malternative beverages' masculine marketing campaigns (of which I consider laughable, at best)... here's an article that touches on the subject. Click HERE for it. This would have been a great topic for the "Man Food" food column that YMike would write for Jam magazine, before it went right down the goddamned tubes.

For those wondering, late last night I posted a phony Oregonian page with a phony story. Visitors to the page, instead of getting the usual splash page got THIS. My apologies to those that got more than five seconds of panic out of it. For those of you that I left in absolute horror... it's alright, the Subaru is fine.

My Mom didn't have any kids that lived.

If you've gotten to this page you've learned that I am not, in fact, dead. Oh... I've seen better days. I've seen days where I didn't want to stick my head in an oven (especially not mine, since it's electric). Days where I would shave and not pause near the jugular (props to Al Bundy). But if I'm going to kill myself, I figured I'd do it through writing.

Please don't call me and tell me what a prick I am. Believe me, I goddamned know it. Normal programming will resume as soon as I get my head together.

Gooch

More free ads for the Zima company, courtesy of me, John "Gooch" Gallucci. Believe it or not, I was shunned by the advertising/public relations community for lack of experience. However, it's obvious that God has given me what "at least two years copywriting experience" would never have given me: Uncanny supernatural copywriting ability.