Dignity... self control... self respect... a Jedi seeks not these things.

So... another great strip club DJ night last night. The girls were intoxicating... and intoxicated. I was fucked up as well. A lot of my friends came out, which was totally cool. I needed the backup, also, because the club's bouncer seemed to be guarding the Megatouch machine more than anything involving the club.

But fortunately, I got to work with Ryan the bartender with whom I've been friends since the age of six. Some other neighborhood guys were at the bar and we thoroughly broke each other's balls for the duration of their visit.

I can still taste vodka and Red Bull. It tastes like headache. I think I'm still drunk. I'm hung over. My favorite thing to do when I'm hungover is go to the hair salon and have cold water sprayed on my head and face in the hair washing station. There's nothing better for a hangover than a cold water bukkake.

gooch:out

Wait... "it tastes like headache?" What the fuck does that even mean?

I more or less worked twelve hours yesterday. I went home and watched my DVRed "Dateline NBC: To Catch a Predator," which kicked ass as always. Can you imagine being Chris Hansen' son or daughter? Can you imagine getting in trouble and having that interrogative style tear you up? You come home late from school and you tell him you were studying and he comes at you with this:

"Why don't you have a seat... keep on drinking the sweet tea if you want... you say you were studying but I know that you were in detention. I have copies of the referral paperwork and transcripts of your cell phone's text messages to your friends complaining about your punishment. Before we go any further, you should know that I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..."

"Dad, I know who you are. This is fucking weird. What are those cameras doing here... I hate you."

Can you tell I'm procrastinating going to the gym? Put in a 12 hour day yesterday and while computer work isn't as taxing as, say, ditch digging. It is mentally grueling, however. Plus, throw in an actual meeting, which I attended yesterday (I was one of three people, so it's not like I could fake paying attention) and my brain was fried.

I love this woman:






















Law and Order: SEU (Small Erect Unit)

The Great Union Returns...

I'm working at Montego's this Friday night with my friend Ryan. Fun as usual and... hey: I'll drink this time so that people won't have to deal with the sober, sullen Gooch.

Montego's Tavern
15826 S.E. Division St.
Portland, OR
(503)761-7293
Dancers: Nude
Types Of Dancing: Stage And Table
Hours: Seven Days a Week, 11 AM-2:30 AM
Cover Charge: None
Dress Code: Casual
Food Service: Yes
Bar Service: Beer And Wine

I can't believe I wasted my 1111th post on "Update coming soon." How anticlimactic.

I apologize publicly to Nikki for being a jerk last night when I met the new guy she is dating. I could blame it on the Jack Daniels, but some people don't realize that I can be a jerk when sober.

It's true.

Now that I've apologized, Nikki, can you please send me the picture(s) of me shoving my face into your cousin's big silicone chest over the weekend? Thank you for your time.

Is anyone else tired of the "Drunk Drivers Against Mothers" joke banner above? It's like I've been telling the same stupid joke for four years. I wonder if a "Drunk Drivers Against Mothers" bumper sticker would sell? You might as well beg a cop to pull you over, but it'd still be funny.

I want to go to the beach.

I am going to Vegas soon.

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

goochout.
(gesundheit).

update coming soon.