My good friend received a letter from his out-of-town girlfriend which served as an official notice of breakup. I've broken up with the same girl twice now. My ex-ex girlfriend and I acknowledge the anniversary of our breakup each year. One of my best friends is a girl I dated 10 years ago. Relationships are like old people, goldfish, and 27-year-old junkie rock stars: they die. The modern attention span can't fathom waiting 15 minutes for a meal or only driving 70mph to get to work. It certainly cannot deal with 'til death do us part.


MY PARENTS; CIRCA 1972

My last afternoon in Reno I decided to have a good dinner and eat whatever I wanted for a meal. I went to the fitness center in my hotel and no one was there. I guess that's because only a fag would work out in Reno at 6pm. There are two TVs in the gym and it happened to be that Scarface and Casino were showing on two separate channels. I was on the treadmill watching both movies at the same time. If you'd replaced my water bottle for a Red Bull-vodka and the treadmill for a blow job... I'd have been the happiest man alive.

Stripper economics: How come in Reno I can give a stripper a dollar bill and in exchange she rubs her $3000 tits all over my unshaven face. Who the fuck is the guy who hangs out in the bathroom at the strip club and hands me a paper towel for the same dollar bill? I feel like saying "hey, do you know what I can get for that dollar no less than 20 feet away?"

I didn't actually go to a strip club this trip, but I this thought occurred to me for some reason.

Danny Bonaduce? I like him so much more now that he's slitting his wrists and shooting up on national television. KGB (do I know you?) left the comment about Breaking Bonaduce. I think it's the best show on television... especially for reality. I don't think it's bullshit either: he's genuinely fucking nuts. It's also edited and shot really well. I hope that the entire series comes out on DVD. Did I already talk about this show? Oh, man. I need a vacation from my vacation.

I'm really happy right now. I can't tell if it's genuine happiness or merely a drawn out manic episode from my bipolar disorder. Fuck it... I'll take happiness where I can get it.

Went to Shooters last night. Some guy was trying to smoke me out in the parking lot. He had some shit that I've only heard about in Dr. Dre songs. I passed, but some girl didn't, went with him and came back looking and acting like a fucking psycho. Good stuff. I figured I'd have a few drinks at Shooters and then call it a night. I met a guy and some girls that work in bars around the area and we took off for a club about four blocks away. It was pretty sweet, considering I thought my night was going to consist of three beers, two shots of Jack Daniels, and mediocre drunken conversation.

The club was packed. We got right in. Wish I had pictures... every chick was gorgeous. The ones that weren't? I drank until they were. That's how I roll. I got chirped on my Nextel by a friend at 2am and started to get homesick. The cure for homesickness? Another beer.