I keep having a feeling that I'm going to wake up next to Cheryl at our apartment in Parkrose and say:

Me: "wow... I had the weirdest dream."

Cheryl: "What was it?"

Me: "You and I broke up, I got laid off... I bought a condo in Wood Village."

Cheryl: "Where's that?"

Me: "Who knows? Anyways, I sold my Subaru..."

Cheryl: "Yeah right."

Me: "No, I sold the Subaru, moved to Wood Village, worked as a bouncer, DJed a strip club, started a computer consulting business..."

Cheryl: "But you don't like computers..."

Me: "I know. Anyways, remind me not to eat Mexican before bed again."

Life can be very unpredictable, indeed.

In case anyone missed this from the comments portion of this blog:

This is Jared [from the "ex secret service agent news links/blogs from earlier this week] and thanks for the support. I maintain my innocence 100%. There has been no loss to any bank, no loss to any estate and I am the same guy you all knew in school.

I appriciate all of your support!

Jared

Darth Vader Light Saber replica from ThinkGeek.com with realistic light and sounds sampled from actual movie: $90.00 (including shipping).

Blackberry 7520 for Nextel with walkie-talkie capability off eBay: $150.00

Fossil Abacus watch with Palm OS built into watch (a Palm device on your wrist) off of eBay: $50.00










Being a total fucking geek with a PayPal account (I bought all this shit in one week): Priceless.






Fuck priceless... obviously it costs about $300. Gooch at 20 wants to travel to the future and kick Gooch at 30's ass.

And steal his lunch money.

goochout.

It's amazing the amount of response I've gotten from the Jared Dullum stories I linked to below. The majority (including myself) believe that it's somehow another Jared
Dullum that is 32 and became a Secret Service Agent and was living on the east coast.

It is, in fact, the one with whom my friends and I went to high school. We did not ever see this coming. Nice Mormon kid, straight A's. Do you know what kind of life you have to lead to become a Secret Service Agent? Neither do I, but I'm sure it's exemplary.

All I can think of is that our collective denial would be nonexistent if it was, say me in the news.

Jared Dullum under investigation for fraudulently collecting pension checks from a dead lady: "No... can't be him... no way... I don't believe it..."

John Gallucci under investigation for some white collar crime: "Well... saw that coming... only a matter of time... that fucker owes me $20..."

I hate you guys.

goochout.

P.S. Ashley, give me a call or send me your MySpace link again.