Star Bores

Kanucka Heads:

The Millennium Falcon, aka my Ford Escape is going into the shop today. It's developed a bit of a transmission fluid leak. And by "a bit," I mean a hemorrhaging so severe that I looked up the word "hemorrhaging" so that I could spell it correctly because no other word accurately conveys the situation.

This cramps a bit of my weekend. I had places I wanted to go. I'm so comfortable with the reliable piece of shit (180,000 miles on the Ford, which is like 800,000 miles to a Japanese car) - read: it's paid for, that I don't feel like looking for another vehicle.

So, weekend logistics are in a tumble.

There's nothing good about this post. I kind of like the photo of the sticker, which I'm assuming depicts a hot chick giving birth to a Ford logo. Sideways. Ouch.

I'm out. Happy weekend, fuckers.

G.

enilnohcoog - forever

If I say my name backwards, it sends me into the 3rd dimension. Which, apparently, is the catalyst of shitty movies since 3D has made its gimmicky comeback.

I hate going to the movies. People in public have no sense of etiquette. There's no empathy or thought that maybe one's talking or cell phone glow might interfere with others' enjoyment of the film they paid way too fucking much to watch.

The last movie I saw in the theater was the abortion of a war/alien movie titled: Battle: Los Angeles. Atrocious dialogue, shitty CG, plot holes... I actually felt sorry for the actors for having to deliver the lines they did. Embarrassing. Don't see it. Don't even pirate it. From my tweet:

I guess one way to battle video piracy is to make movies no one would download. Battle: Los Angeles... you sucked.

I haven't seen "127 Hours" yet, but that didn't stop me from tweeting about it:

If the boulder was a drunk chick and the canyon was my Dad's basement, then 127 hours would pretty much represent my 90s. 1 day ago

I haven't seen it, but "127 Hours" sounds like a 93 minute allegory of the "coyote ugly" joke.

The second tweet got the least feedback, but I thought it was the most clever. I mean, to link an old joke to a contemporary true story and feature film, well that's genius. If you ask me.

From Urban Dictionary: Coyote Ugly is when you wake up next to the woman you had sex with the night before,and you realize in your sober state that she is the UGLIEST woman you have ever seen, and you realize she is laying on your arm. Instead of waking her up to move, you chew off your arm to free yourself.

Hilarity!

Back to work.

goochout