Fuck yeah. My room at the Bellagio in Vegas is like my condo... except classy. Remote control curtains, a shower big enough to fuck in, two queen size beds for mid air stripper to escort transfers, and internet access costly enough to rival my mortgage. My laptop is hooked up and I'm already checking my email, updating the blog, and downloading pirated music and smut.

My wad of cash is made entirely of stripper supplied funds through my work at Montego's. Each Portland stripper supplied dollar bill smells curiously like an absentee father, broken dreams, and trace amounts of cocaine; which is funny, because that's what the entire city of Las Vegas smells like.

Viva Las Vegas... indeed.

goochout.

Ummm.... yeah... this site is sort of on the Millenium Falcon tip. Gets the job done but not 100% functional. I just need to redo this site. You can view the full length columns and pictures by clicking the menu links above. I think you can still buy shit, too.

Watched the last Sopranos of the season. Not only did nothing happen... nothing appears to be going to happen. They couldn't have thrown in a cliffhanger? And how the fuck am I supposed to get into this Christmas theme? It's God-damned June and I'm watching the Soprano family gather around the Christmas tree? What the fuck?

I'm bringing my laptop with me to Las Vegas so I can keep rewarding you, the reader, with uplifting life observations such as the paragraph above this one.

Happy Birthday to Nikki, Emily, Kay, Meggan, and all the other Geminis that have made my life say... more interesting.

"Your vagina is like Star Wars, Episode III. Everyone's seen it and they're pretty disappointed." - Me throwing a very nerdy insult to a friend of mine.

See you in Vegas.

goochout.

The former incarnation of this website should be restored soon. I kind of like the Martha Stewart look, but the original site had so much more material - full length columns, pictures of me, pictures of porn stars with me. You, the reader, deserve more material.

Mad props to Gregster for setting up the server space.

Note: Viewing this website is not meant to take the place of actually meeting/getting to know me. There's more to me than occasional bursts of text written at 2am. I believe that the World is a better place because I'm here. You should live in a way that you can say that's true for yourself.

Okay, I fuck up a lot but the needle tips toward "better" for the most part.

Three days to Vegas.

My Myspace account: http://www.myspace.com/goochonline

I'm pretty fucking edgy lately. It's been good... fueling a drive to get shit done and accomplish long standing tasks. This weekend I accomplished downloading a lot of Korn tracks and drinking beer. I wanted to get a girl's phone number tonight but I sort of chickened out. Maybe the opportunity didn't arise but classic Gooch would have gotten those digits. I've got a wingman playing cleanup for me and I may come out a winner.. It's how I roll - contingency plan.

I'm a shy person. Ain't that a bitch.

I'm going to Vegas for a week soon. A week in Vegas time is like two months in real time. I'll have to get a job down there. A funny prospect considering I couldn't find a job here. I don't know what I'm going to do for seven days. Water park, hotel pools, buffets, drinking, strippers. It's pretty much like home. Honestly I'll probably mellow out in Vegas. How crazy is your life when Sin City is a peaceful escape from the pitfalls of life at home? Living on my own in Troutdale without adult supervision hasn't always led myself into the best situations.

"Arsenio Hall will host a show called "Good Morning Black America." It will air at 2pm across the country." - Paul Mooney as Negrodamus on the Chappelle show.