Resolution Pollution

I was asked about what my NYE resolutions were during breakfast yesterday. My overall resolve is to make 2009 suck way, way less than 2008. I plan on making more money. I plan on riding my bicycle again. I want to be a better soccer player. I want to drink less and sleep more. I want to eat less and run more. I want to move out of 97060.

Unfortunately, my immediate soccer plans may be derailed. The inflateable dome in which my league plays succumbed to the ice during "Arctic Blast 2008." Here's some pictures:

Before:

After:


This sucks. I was looking forward to playing again. This is like the Hindenburg without the humanity.

In other news, I've installed a fresh copy of Windows 7 Beta on my Virtual PC. Checking it out. Fun stuff. It could be the future of computing... or the birth of Linux as the next mainstream OS.

Anyways... I'm high off caffeine. Gonna go do stuff. It's hard getting up at the crack of 2pm.

goochout.

Happy New Year... Indeed.

Me, passed out just after midnight.

Gooch. The saga continues...

Last night was an epic journey including a slow dance, Papa Murphy's pizza, a strip club, a friend's house, and the following types of alcohol:

Home brewed beer (thanks Delvis)

Sailor Jerry's spiced rum

Vodka

Jagermeister

Champagne

I passed out and when I awoke, there was a camera next to me. I did what anyone else would do: I took out the card, hooked up a card reader that was in my car, started the upload of pictures of myself being molested to an ftp site, and headed out for some grocery shopping.

Oh, and threw up.

My phone died sometime before the new year. Thank God for GPS, otherwise I wouldn't have made my way to Marty's house (where I passed out). I think it should be legal to drink and drive if you have a GPS.

I'm curbing my gluttonous ways. I've put my personal finances on a pirated copy of Quicken. I'm keeping track of cash expenditures. I'm also restricting the diet. I'm so disgusted with myself that I actually turn myself off. I wont even give myself a tug at this point.

I've got a day date today. have to clean the house and maybe try to vomit again before she arrives.

It's so awesome being me.

goochout.

Gooch-Pourri

Happy New Year.

Anyone interested in reading another blog on the "BSC Incident," as it is now remembered, can click HERE.





I'm acknowledging publicly on this website that I need to drop some pounds. The arctic blast didn't help, but I don't want another 'X' on my tags. This is bullshit. I keep thinking I'm a loser when, in fact, I'm constantly gaining.


Found this while googling something else: Oregon Woman Sets DUI Record... .72!


I received a request last night that I should post less pictures of my cat, and more of strippers. This request came from a girl. Apparently my life has become a little dull for some of you. I'll be sure to try to make shit happen.





I'm forgoing the gym this morning (yeah... great move) in an effort to get to a customer's office early this morning; as soon as they open. I'm trying to get my day done early today to that I can get my hair cut and then take a nap in my office. It's all I want for the day. Oh, and to make out with a random chick at midnight tonight. Not even because it's New Year's... I just like making out with random chicks. True story; look it up on Wikipedia.

My New Year's resolution? To live my life like it's a Girls Gone Wild commercial without all of the logos covering up the good stuff. My diet will be 40% protein, 25% carbs, 10% fats, and 35% alcohol. By the end of the year I want women to want me, men to want to be me, and of course, suckers to fear me. My life should be an early nineties 2 Live Crew video. I want to start one non-computer related business. Something with its own corporation, bank account, etc. I might even want a girlfriend. I've made it 10 months since I told someone that I loved them (and meant it). That's low priority stuff though. Oh... and I want to get the fuck out of East County. Yo.

goochout.

Lunch Time

I found this to be bad ass. It starts off with really shitty acting and a script that could have been punched up a little bit more. I haven't seen acting this bad since I heard the phrase "F*** me with that big d**k." You can imagine the scenario... it was almost convincing, except she was reading a People Magazine at the time.

Fortunately, the human setup quickly makes way for an awesome "Mac vs. PC" show. What... no CTRL-ALT-DEL or 'Sad Mac' jokes?

Who took the 'O' out of Country?

Picture this: Me in a home built stripper pole room lit only by black lights and a disco ball. I'm cowering in a corner, sitting on a pillow on the ground. A girl I used to date (non-stripper) is in a killer stripper outfit because, it's Christmas time and there's a brass pole in the vicinity. Another girl I used to date comes in the room and unleashes a misguided fury toward me, the other girl, and the homeowner (who later entered the room) so advanced in its venom that I was literally hiding behind my SOLO cup of Hefeweizen. She was eventually escorted out of the house

Here's a link to the non yelling "girl I used to date" blog on the situation. HERE

It was sort of pathetic, me sitting in the corner of a dark room, getting yelled at. It was an awful, awful moment. Lots of "fuck you." Lots of hurtful things said. It's an episode that I, on one hand, would like to forget. At the same time, I wish that the camcorder nearby was on because it would have been KICK ASS YOUTUBE FODDER! Anyone else with me? Holla!

Wow... it's a winter morning, but it's feeling a bit like a summer's eve.

After she left, I ended up on a couch, talking to my beer as though it was Jesus appearing in the form of foam in an attempt at cheap laughs from the remaining people at the party. The cup of beer and I had something in common: both of us ended up 'solo' that night.