Open Letter/ Next Month's Gooch: The Column

Gooch: The Column
Submitted for the September issue.

The year: 1998. For my very first column for the Portland State University newspaper, the Vanguard, I submitted a column that poked fun at the fact that Portland’s television news stations are using their helicopters to catch live footage of inanimate objects. That week, I was watching a news story that consisted of recorded footage of a group of protesters gathered around several tobacco company billboards. After the recorded portion of the story had ended, KGW switched to “environmental reporter” Gary Cheatham (as I reported) in “Sky 8,” the “Newschannel’s” helicopter with an aerial view of one of the tobacco company billboards in question. I discussed the necessity of Cheatham using a helicopter to catch live footage of a billboard.

The problem: The reporter was actually Gary Chittim, another reporter for KGW. I had slipped up on the name. Fortunately, my column had not been published and could be changed before it went to press. I went to my editor and told him about the mistake I made. He said that he’d take care of it. Just to make sure, I wrote the correct spelling down and gave it to him, stressing my desire to get this right. He assured me that he would make the change.

Sure enough, my column was published with the erroneous name—despite my efforts. I could not begin to describe my frustration. Fortunately, no one really paid attention or would likely even know that I made the mistake.

The year: 2001. When I turned in my story for the Miss White Trash 2001 event at the Ash Street Saloon, I was tired. I got back to the Jam office from the July 28 event at 3am, July 29—the day the story was due. I wrote the bulk of the story that morning, went to bed, then finished the piece later that morning. I knew that I had written the article in a fatigued state and in a rushed fashion, so I asked a few Jam staffers to read my work, to catch any errors. I had made a big error. I called the Ash Street Saloon the “Ash Street Theater.” This didn’t surprise me, and thankfully we caught my mistake in time.

I visited the Jam office later in the week, during the layout/editing sessions. As this was my first cover story for Jam (or anyone), I wanted to ensure that everything was okay. The “Theater” verbiage was still in the article. I asked, and was granted permission, to make the corrections myself. I changed the naming to the correct convention, deleted a joke, and a few minor adjustments. How the erroneous version had even made it to this point was beyond me since everyone seemed to have noticed it soon after my submission. Fortunately, I had caught it, and everything was fine.

On Friday, August 3, 2001, I was at the Cobalt Theat… Lounge, enjoying the heavy-rock sounds and show that Docile was putting forth that evening when I realized that the new Jam might be on the newsstands near the door cashier. I went and found a copy, opened it up, and realized that the error-filled version of the article, my first cover story, is what was published. I cannot begin to describe my frustration. Mercifully, my tears started to obscure the print, saving me from having to read my own published garbage for more than a few minutes.

I love everyone at Jam. Not the beer induced love that we all feel for people we really barely know, but genuine love. I love the teamwork, the camaraderie, and the pride that we all take in our group effort. I’m always appreciative and never take for granted the fact that I have an entire page each month to publish virtually whatever I want in a local magazine. This is what keeps me in Jam. I realize that my contributions are a fraction of the time and energy that the editors, publisher, layout people, etc. put out month after month, most (like me) on a volunteer basis. For this, I’m always thankful.

So what the hell happened? What more could I have done to make sure that this didn’t occur? I’m not blaming any single person. This situation, however, should not happen. How idiotic do I look like when I cover an event and get the name of the venue wrong (on the cover story, no less)? I definitely made the initial mistake but also went above and beyond what I needed to do to make the proper corrections.

For this error, I apologize to The Ash Street Saloon, Jesus Presley, and everyone who put the Miss White Trash 2001 Pageant together.

"Gooch," you ask, "where are all of the CD reviews?"

I'm working on putting the CD reviews in a menu format sorted by band. They'll be up soon, with CD covers and all that.

Stalker/Sniper Update:
Tonight (8/3/01) I'll be at Jazz De Opus sitting near the middle window on Couch St. from 8:00 to 8:45. From there, I'll leave and get into my green Subaru SVX (license plate: GOOCH-1) and take Front avenue north, parking on the corner of 25th and NW Savier St. (arriving around 8:55). After hanging out in an apartment at Savier, I'll get back in my car (9:15) with a tall person, head south on Front and parking at or around the Cobalt Lounge, walking through the door at 9:30. I'm wearing khaki jeans, leather coat, black shoes, goofy glasses, and a bad haircut. In fact, there's a picture of me in the newest Jam Magazine for reference.

Gooch: The Blooper #1: In the 'Before They Were Movie Stars' column, I spelled 'were' 'we're.' How embarrassing.

sniff. sniff. This is the happiest day of my life. No marriage, no first born child, no acquittal could match the sheer joy I'm experiencing right now as my website is back up. The counter is accurate and you can't jack up the numbers by hitting the 'refresh' button over and over again. Dammit. Check out the Miss White Trash 2001 column in the columns page. Check out the shop, too.

The next Jam Magazine should be on newsstands this Wednesday. I have written my first cover story [Miss White Trash] with this issue. Also, 'the Genie' fiction article, my usual column, and two CD reviews were submitted by me. Don't miss it!