I Hate the Black Eyed Peas.

Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry's dating a girl that only looks really good under specific lighting conditions? That's what Fergie is. I find her hideous in that Diet Dr. Pepper commercial and I totally understand why Josh Duhamel would cheat on her. In fact, in the world of celebrity infidelity, I never heard anyone ask (upon reports that Duhamel banged a stripper or 400) "why would he cheat on her?"

Not that she's that ugly, I mean her face is buttery but you can drink that away. Why I can't stand her is that she is absolutely the most celebrated yet untalented hack of a musician in the history of pop music. Black Eyed Peas are an abomination in an abomination of an industry.

You can say that pop music has always been like that, but it's gotten worse in the last few years. Remember how everyone made a stink that Vanilla Ice sampled the bass line from Bowie/Queen's "Under Pressure?" He was made fun of on SNL the night he was a guest. And yet some 20 years later, it's become okay to perform a song during the half time of the Super Bowl that consists of BEP chanting and rapping poorly over Dick Dale's "Misirlou." I mean this song shouldn't have even been conceived, much less recorded. At best, it should have been a hidden bonus track or some shit. But fuck no... it's a hit. And no one complains. No one points out that it's just them grunting and screaming nonsense over the song they probably hadn't heard until Pulp Fiction came out. No one points out that another of their latest "hits" is a lot of Fergie singing a song from Dirty Dancing. They don't even sample obscure shit. When are they going to sample from the Grease Soundtrack? I don't think you can call it sampling. It's called ripping other songs the fuck off. You can tell when will.i.am produces a single for BEP or another artist because the only catchy thing about the song is what was catchy on the song from which he stole it.

Keep in mind that Fergie has the vocal talent of a dive bar karaoke singer. Keep in mind that will.i.am is a fucking rip off artist (he ripped off The Buggles for Nicki Minaj and Iron Butterfly for Nas(?)). What exactly the fuck do the other two guys do? One of them had the audacity to write a book. I'm assuming the foreword will be written by will.i.am and be something he copied and pasted from a book he read on his Kindle.

Black Eyed Peas: I hate them. For them to make money from a song like "Pump It..." for them to perform weak raps over a mostly unaltered song recorded in the 60s... How is it any different than if I pissed on a Picasso and told everyone I was a gifted painter?

I got a feeling... indeed.