I was informed today that my really good friends' dog has gone missing. It's hard to talk in past-tense about a dog that could be still alive, or about a dog that you really, really hope is still alive, so I'll stick with the present tense. Odin is a good dog. Odin wants attention, like all dogs, but when he's told "no" he (often) obeys. He's good with his "little sister," baby Kara-Lee. One of the coolest things I've seen a dog do (besides play poker in that painting) is when Odin carefully positions a rubber ball on the top step of the patio stairs, and races down the steps in time to catch the ball as it rolls off the side of the steps. Effectively, he was playing fetch by himself as I looked on while drinking a Bud Light (the drink of choice at his owners' house). Odin is a much cared for, much loved dog... truly a member of its family, and I hope he returns home safely.

"From Justin to Kelly," eh?

I guess it was pretty handy that the winner and runner-up of American Idol 1 were an attractive girl and an attractive (albeit a Sideshow Bob looking motherfucker) guy. The movie rollout was handy. So, what's coming up for the winners of American Idol 2?

Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard from American Idol.

How about a remake of Tommy Boy? The song and performance of "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" could be a full on musical performance. If interracial relationships are still taboo in cinema and television, why not really break some barriers (so to speak) with "From Ruben to Clay." It's Ruben... It's Clay... it's gay!. I think that'd be super.

Fuck, I hate reality television. We used to watch TV to escape reality. Now it's reality variety shows? Do you think variety shows, a staple of the sixties and seventies, are really going to make a comeback? I've got five words for you: "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour."