I went and saw American Gangster last night. I'm sick and have all but lost my voice, so a movie seemed like a good idea over strip club DJing.

At the time.

What the fuck is going on at the theaters? Why am I paying $9 a ticket to sit in a crowded room with five simultaneous cell phone conversations occurring while someone smokes a joint? In addition, the projectionist didn't know what he was doing and thus the boom microphones were visible often enough during the movie that it detracted from my enjoyment of the film. Is this what I paid for? If Regal Cinemas' business is showing movies, then they have no idea what they're doing. They certainly don't know enough that they should be taking $9 a ticket.

Nowadays, the period of time prior to showing the movie is not only filled with trailers, but advertisements and public service announcements. The PSAs admonish viewers not to pirate movies or music. They say that it's stealing. I have had a DVD quality copy of American Gangster on a computer hooked up to my plasma TV for the last week. I didn't watch it because I figured that American Gangster would be such a good movie that I would enjoy watching it in a theater. I won't make that mistake again. I can't blame the theaters so much for the smoke and the cell phone users, but fucking up the projection is unforgiveable.

If theaters would stop raising movie ticket prices and pay a little more attention to their operations, then piracy wouldn't be so rampant. The music industry doesn't get it, either. I thought that digital music would lower the price of music through a natural economic phenomenon. However, I was at Starbucks and a point of sale display sold a card for $15 with a key to download the new K.T. Tunstall album. So, instead of buying a CD that you could rip to your computer... or at least listen to once you got into the car... you get barely a tangible product for your money. Music companies are losing money to piracy, but they've been artificially fixing prices of CDs for years. Now, their cost of production (no CD manufacturing) has shrunk dramatically, but the price of music is increasing.

Media piracy is stealing. I do it. A lot of people do. If the legitimate media outlets made their products inexpensive (and good) enough, they would completely pull the rug from under the piracy "industry." I would rather enjoy a movie in a theater the way it was meant to be. Until I find a reasonably priced theater that won't piss/rip me off?

Fuck 'em.

Tucker Chapman.

"Dog" Chapman's son sold tape to Enquirer

I'm never having kids.

I know what the "N-word" means and I know its historical and social significance. Perhaps the word has evolved into a new meaning:

Early Retirement.

Maybe "Dog," Imus, Kramer, and... um... anyone else that has been economically damaged by their use of the n-word should go hang out in a bar somewhere. In the South. Where they'd, you know, be the "smart sounding" ones. And Gods. They'd be Gods there, too.

South Park should re-shoot the "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson" episode. I honestly believe that I can relate any socio-political event to an episode of South Park. I can quote South Park the way some preachy motherfuckers quote the bible.

Screw you guys... I'm going to the gym.

goochout.

click me. heh.

CNN: Duane "Dog" Chapman Apologizes for Using N-Word.

He's apologizing for using the word in a "private" conversation and wants people to note the context in which it was stated. He's afraid that because him and his family use that word that his son's girlfriend might hear it and tell the Enquirer. There isn't too many ways to sugar-coat that.

The context in which it was stated was that he was saying that they use the n-word a lot. Sort of damning evidence. It's funny that he called Al Sharpton already. Like Sharpton has a
'white celebrities who use the n-word' hotline. Why does everyone apologize to him? Like he's the president of Black America. Was Jesse Jackson too busy molesting the english language to take Chapman's call?

UPDATE: Link to referenced Sara Rue letter HERE

Fuck yeah. Bootleg Kardassian pics rocked me into the four digits for the first time, ever. It makes everything I write seem meaningless. I mean, if pilfered pictures of porn make my site (celebrating its 8th year this month) a player in the blog world and increase my hit count by 10-fold, then my writing (ahem) career seems hollow. You mean, jokes like "mahaloween" and fucking your clone being considered "masturbation" didn't bring the browsers in droves? Some rich chick with a fat ass and an amateur porn rocketed me (for one day) into d-list celebrity blog status?

Sweet.

A reference to Denise Austin yields me a bunch of hits (wtf?). Also Jared Dullum, my former classmate and valedectorian turned Jersey slumlord (allegedly... it's funny to think of a guy as nice as him in that way, but I've gotten plenty of correspondence stating so). Use the search box at the top of the page to find more crap to waste your work day reading.




You get it? I spelled her name Kardassian instead of Kardashian. That's top notch humor. I've tried watching her reality show. It is the most boring drivel ever. My life is more interesting. It really is. Her mom and step dad look like they belong in a documentary about plastic surgery horror stories. Her sisters look like the girls that cock block the guys hitting on their friends at the club only because they're jealous that no one wants to fuck them. I of course, look like the guy that would bat cleanup in that situation.

goochout.

Kim Kardashian Playboy Pictures.

I've never forgiven myself for failing to bring you the Vanessa Hudgens pic before it got taken down. I saw that the Kim Kardashian pictures had surfaced and that the legal notices had been getting issued to the sites that posted them. I'm WAY under the radar, so if you give a shit...




Click on the thumbnail to make it bigger. I wish I could do that with my penis, which looks like a thumbnail of an actual penis no matter what you do to it. I don't know why Playboy pictures of Kardashian are such a big deal:

#1, She's appeared in a porno already. Playboy is showing the world something that everyone has seen and didn't have to go to a 7-11 to do so.

#2: The pictures are so heavily photoshopped and airbrushed that it doesn't even look like her. What's the point? Pay her half price to put her head on a different body.

#3: She's the daughter of a rich dead guy that's actually slutted her way to stardom. That's it. She's Paris Hilton, sort of. There's a difference. I can't think of it. Different STDs maybe?

I'll take these down at the first sign of legal trouble, FYI. It'll be like Sara Rue all over again.

Enjoy.

goochout.

I remember having a bunch of these when I was a kid. I thought it was sort of douchie that they were badass 4x4s and, oh yeah, they also travelled on two wheels like every car stunt during the 70s and 80s. Have you noticed that cars no longer do that bullshit two side wheel trick anymore?

goochout

From an email sent this morning to a friend:
Burying my face into a laptop catching up on work. Heh, I guess I could be talking about the computer job or the strip club job.

I'm in catchup mode right now as a lot of work didn't get done while I was in Hawaii and my bank account took quite a hit as resort life is a party and the checkout invoice is a motherfucking hangover. From now on, every time your computer breaks and I fix it (and you pay the invoice) an angel gets his or her wings. Or something. Yeah... limited time offer.

I shouldn't even be blogging this shit right now. I should be, you know, working. While in Hawaii, I saw a few episodes of Law and Order as they were doing a marathon on USA. Today I read an absolutely pointless article about my future ex wife Mariska Hargitay. Apparently she was in Hawaii during the same time I was. Stalking psycho bitch. Leave me alone. And by leave me alone, I mean call me.

Slowest News Day EVER! Hargitay: Is there something on besides 'L&O'?

I'm listening to the new Kanye album right now. I got it off of Bittorrent last night. Comcast has been fucking with the bittorrent service, which pisses me off and sets a dangerous precedent for ISPs. I'll have you know that there are perfectly legitimate uses for p2p services. I have no idea what they are, but someone does. Restore Net Neutrality! Fight The Power!