Saturday, October 24, 2009

One theory (okay, mine) as to what was happening on that NWA flight to Minneapolis.


The next time I tell someone that I like a girl and the person with whom I'm speaking says "Yeah, she's hot, but she has a kid." I'm going to say "Hey, kid doesn't plug a hole."



Ha! There's a glimpse into my wit, coming to a drunken bender conducted by yours truly at a bar/tavern/bath house near you.



I've come to the conclusion that I have all of the stress management skills of a chihuaha. I really had an exhausting, anxiety fueled week. Not sure why, but even when I was able to sleep my nightmares were cliched "stuck on a raft in the middle of the ocean in a storm" or the "workday from hell." Came to the conclusion that I need therapy something fierce. You know, I came to that conclusion about eight years after you assholes did.



Delving into another subject: Did you all get a schadenfreunde-ian boner over the NWA pilots inexplicably overshooting the runway (as of late, you could make a drinking game from the number of times I use the word "inexplicably") this week? Of course these douche-nozzles were from the Pacific Northwest where we can't seem to drive cars for shit anyhow, much less an Airbus. Over shot the airport by 500 miles before someone could get their attention? They weren't asleep,they weren't arguing (although that was the first excuse). Were they joining the even more exclusive gay mile high club? Were they pillow biting at 35,000 feet? What else is there? A wicked joint effort at a Sudoku puzzle? Were they fighting over a new PlayStation Portable? I can't wait to find out what shit went on up there.



You see it's like the "ring doesn't plug a hole" joke. But different.



goochout.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Almost a week... really?


Seriously, I should just start a site called "Meghan McCain's Rack" and give the people what they really want. Or, let's face it, what I want.


I love how the "Republican Rack" defends her posting of that picture, claiming is was a spontaneous posting and nothing that she actually thought about when she posted it:


"[When] I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweatpants, I had no idea this makes me a ‘slut’, I can't even tell you how hurt I am."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/10/15/2009-10-15_meghan_mccain_twitter_photo_backlash_leads_to_apology.html#ixzz0UaFEliSM


So they make super-push-up tank tops? She didn't notice those sweater puppies were starting to strangle her? Works for me. I have not kept it a secret that I love Meghan McCain despite her politics. I have the perfect date planned for me and her. We'd drink red wine, red meat, and watch the Zapruder film on a continuous loop as I lay her down on our dirty plates and leftover gristle/baked potato skins and made passionate like to each other on my coffee table while two secret service agents taped taped it with my HD camcorders that I will have purchased specifically for the evening.

Romance is certainly not dead in the Gooch Compound.

I have to go. Anxiety has replaced caffeine as my catalyst for energy.

goochout.