Gooch: High Voltage

In news that affects me:

Pirate Bay fileshare four jailed for a year

Like Jesus, they suffer for our sins. In one year, they will rise (from prison) as if it was Easter Sunday. They may not be able to sit down for a while (I don't know what the ass raping culture is in Swedish prisons) but while they're shopping for rubber doughnuts and bags of ice to sit on, I'll still be downloading copious amounts of music and movies shot by a camcorder in a Russian theater.


Tomorrow night is my birthday party:

Vertigo (bar)
4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
Portland, OR
8pm - 2am

The Curious Case of Benjamin Gooch

I don't like advice columnists. I find them arrogant, self serving (ironically), and I truly believe that they write their own letters to answer to set themselves up for an easy column. When I wrote for the Vanguard, I fucking know that the "advice" columnist there wrote her own questions to answer. The stupidest most common sense requests for advice to a college paper answered patronizingly by a thursday night dollar drink bar slut? Take that shit and Fuck off.

That said, I read some advice today that I think I need to take to heart. I honestly think that I'm going to read it again and gleen from it some life changing words of advice. I mean, I'm going through these situations right now, in a sense. Good stuff.

Carolyn Hax Advice Column, 4/15/09

The Assassination of Gooch by the Coward Robert Ford

This video highlights a few things:

1: I'm not above posting other people's content that's already been featured by another blog.

2: Mythbusters' budget has increased exponentially since I first started watching the show.

3: Always wear your seatbelt.

99 & 44/100% Dead.

Porn Star Marilyn Chambers: Dead at 56





The first porn film I ever saw was Chambers' ground breaking "Behind the Green Door." I was a child and the movie on on a Betamax tape I found, I believe. Should not have been this youngsters introduction to graphic sex. Could this be why I'm such a bizarre study in relationships and intimacy?

"No Gooch, it's that you didn't stop watching porn after that, you degenerate sick fuck."

Oh, that's what it was. Thanks. Dick.

But before Marilyn Chambers turned me into a confused eight-year-old, she was a model, famously seen on the Ivory Soap label. In the late seventies, one of my former bosses said he walked into some sex club in San Francisco and saw Chambers doing a live sex show.

Wait, maybe the first porn I saw was a Seka film? Is Swedish erotica not okay for kids? I'm even more confused.

This should be an interesting autopsy, at any rate.

R.I.P., Marilyn Taylor.

goochout

Monday.

It's the beginning of Birthday Week for me. I threw down cash for a couple months at the gym (I'd let my membership lapse) and got a workout/tan in this morning. Having dinner with a friend I haven't seen in a while later this week. Party this Saturday, hangover this Sunday. I'm facing this week with mountains of optimism, despite my advanced age.

I've given up drinking for the week (I will have wine with the aforementioned dinner) in the hopes of hitting a target weight and feeling healthier. I think I've mentioned it before: there's so much alcohol everywhere - it's hard to avoid it. I worked at an office on Friday and they had a martini party that afternoon. I started drinking at 4:30 that afternoon and didn't stop until 2 in the morning because of my DJing gig.

"Gooch," you ask, "didn't your work at the office end at 1pm and you arranged your schedule so that you could go back and drink martinis at 4:30? Didn't you stop somewhere for a drink between the martini party and the DJing job?"

Well, uh, yeah. I guess there's alcohol everywhere... if you look for it. Point well taken. I'm not a victim of society... just of myself.

Out.