Birthday Party: Saturday, April 19, 2008 - 8:00pm - (tomorrow night): Vertigo: 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Portland, OR - 97214 (503) 234-2423




A computer supplier I frequent has an assistant manager. This person is very nice over the phone; extremely helpful and was very contrite when I had a complaint.



Problem: this person is a man who dresses like a woman to the point where I think we're supposed to think he is a she. He's not fooling anyone and it's very unnerving to see a man dressed as a sort of punk rock girl.


Being gay is fine. Whatever people want to do is ofuckingkay by me. What I take issue with is the notion that we can go to work or out in public dressed however we want. it's not a costume party and this isn't halloween. If he's a man and he "feels" like a woman, what's to keep me from "feeling" like a pirate or an astronaut and coming to work dressed as such every day? I purchase things from this person frequently and my opinions certainly haven't affected my ability to do business with his employer (their constant lack of stock and apathy to do anything about it has). That said...



Ick.



******


I'm drinking a can of Rock Star that I started to drink yesterday. "Gooch," you ask, "wouldn't it have gone flat by now? Nope! I used a Jokari Can Pump and Pour (with alcohol and girls, it's usually pour and pump, respectively -- giggidy). You use this device to pump and store air back into the can so that it never goes flat. I think it works for beer, as well (not that I've ever intentionally left a can of beer undrunk).





******

goochout.

Birthday Party: Saturday, April 19, 2008: Vertigo: 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Portland, OR - 97214 (503) 234-2423

Played soccer last night. Instead of the obligatory post game "high five," the other team handed us boxes. When opened, the boxes revealed... our asses!

Indeed, our asses were handed to us last night. At least the other obligatory post game ritual, a trip to the Lucky Labrador brewpub, turned out alright. I also ran into my ex in a gas station parking lot (figuratively, not literally) and I ended up having more beer at a nearby bar, thoroughly negating any health benefits from the soccer game I had just played.

Grand Theft Auto IV is coming out April 29th. It's the only PC game I've ever purchased. I've never owned a console game system newer than a Sega Genesis. I play Atari 2600 and emulated old arcade games on the PC. I have purchased GTA3 and GTA: Vice City. GTA4 is not available for the PC. Finally, I have an excuse to purchase a Playstation 3.
http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/

"I've ever purchased. I've never owned a console game system newer than a Sega
Genesis. I play Atari 2600 and emulated old arcade games on the PC."

So, did that quote just absolutely dry up my female readership (literally and figuratively) or what? Wow.

Back to the grill.

goochout.

Birthday Party: Saturday, April 19, 2008: Vertigo: 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Portland, OR - 97214 (503) 234-2423

Reason #542 why not to get married.




She's... crazy!?

Here's the CNN story that made me search for this vid... HERE

Tricia Walsh-Smith is 25 years younger than her now skewered husband, Philip Smith. Did he think he wanted her for anything other than his money? His fucking awesome looks? Listen, if you're lucky enough to bang a chick that is so much younger than you... don't marry her. It can't lead to anything good. If you're in your thirties for example, and you date a girl that's 20; don't expect the relationship to last past, I don't know, age 21.1. Young girls like to fuck lots of guys that are close to their age. Your old ass did not change that fact. You're a fluke. Bang a 20 year old... tell all your friends about it, (post a video of it on YouTube for all I care) then get the fuck away from her.

If you bang a 20-year-old stripper... get into a Delorean, go back in time, and find yourself in the bar an hour before the act, and say "NO... stop it... no..." hit yourself with a rolled up newspaper and drag yourself out by the ear. There are plenty of 20 year olds with father issues to bang. They're called baristas, college juniors, and waitresses.

Gooch:Out

Um... Tricia... call me if you want. You seem cool and I totally understand how that bastard husband of yours has destroyed your life. I so get your video! Lets get that son of a bitch together. I love you.

Birthday Party:

Saturday, April 19, 2008:
Vertigo: 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Portland, OR - 97214 (503) 234-2423

Going back to the old neighborhood.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Francis Bacon

Will be at Montego's Friday night to celebrate with Ryan the bartender.

Working on a full length column. Also, working on getting the column and photo archives back online. It must be hard going to work every day without seeing 10-year-old pictures of me with porn stars, or snorting jello shots.

I sort of shut down over the weekend. I apologize to any of the 17 voice mail leavers that I didn't respond to until yesterday.

I need a vacation.

Happy Birthday, Theresa. I will try to update the page more often. Just for you.

goochout.