Weakend Edition

Crustaceans:

 

I've been aggressive in my effort to desensitize my desensitization, not drink, be more positive/less cynical, get healthy, and essentially drag the needle over the spinning record that is this website.

 

It's hard to write about being a designated driver. It's hard to describe the situations that come from no longer self medicating my social-phobia. Or, I should say, the lack of situations that come from no longer self medicating my social-phobia. Writing about your own drunken escapades is so much easier that writing about observing others' antics.

 

MMA classes, the extra fitness endeavor financed by my extinct bar tabs, are interesting. Having your head and shoulder pinned between a dude's legs and giving him adjustment pointers until you start losing consciousness from lack of blood to your brain ("okay, push the top of my head over so that the sharp part of my shoulder goes into my carotid artereeeee... [tap tap]) is certainly an interesting hobby. I have a lot of appreciation now for those UFC fights and the skill/endurance that goes into it. At age 36 I've also, I believe, finally learned how to throw a punch. Who knew that you were supposed to make a fist first? Not me.

 

Off to lunch. Have a good weekend.

 

goochout

 

 

Waiting to Exhale

Goochalos:

I bought one of those e-cigarettes Friday after work. I don't smoke, although I've tried to start many times. I'm just fascinated by the fact that an electronic alternative to smoking has not only been invented (they've been around a while, my friend Mike Henry has been "vaping" for a while now) but is available at convenience stores for under $20. You inhale on the hard plastic simulated cigarette and the end glows red - brighter depending on the velocity of your "drag." In the course of this process, an element heats up and liquid nicotine is vaporized and that is what you inhale. Should the simulated lit end start to flash, you unscrew the cigarette from the nicotine cartridge end and screw it into a USB adapter to charge. It's fucking genius.

http://www.xhaleo2.com/

In other news, I feel myself getting sick. The stuffed head, the fatigue, headaches, dizziness. I don't like being sick and missing work is an option for people with compensated sick time. I'm getting pissy about this because I'm missing workouts and I need to get into some sort of shape. Usually, if I rest, I don't get full blown AIDS and squeak by with just a cold.

Honestly, I'm just waiting for my torrents to download. Pirated Dexter and Boardwalk Empire episodes are trickling over my internet pipes. I'll probably pass out before they hit the media server. I guess it's one reason for me to wake up. Finally, a reason to wake up. [starts to weep, takes a cigarette and tries to burn himself in a self mutilating/masochistic endeavor with it but realizes that it's a fake electronic cigarette and says "duh, I just wrote about this thing" then turns around and crawls into bed.]

goochout