I'm Back.
WELCOME HOME, INDEED.
Had a lot of fun in Miami. The pictures speak for themselves. I returned to Portland on Tuesday, finished off my temporary stint as a 40 hour/week employee for a large computer training firm, and Monday I'll return to normal independent contractor/sleeping in life. My scabs from my bicycle fall are peeling off. All of the pictures from the trip will be in a gallery as soon as Mike comes to Portland later this month.
As I write this I'm watching Goodfellas on... The Lifetime Channel? I guess it is a story about a men who ruin families and beat their wives.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Burl Ives, 1964. What a fucked up story is that? Rudolph, a young reindeer who, once discovered is "differently abled" than the other reindeer (to use a PC term) is berated, excluded from activities, ultimately a victim of several hate crimes. Rudolph is only accepted by the rest of the group when he bails out entire toy distribution operation with the anomaly that drew so much hostility from his other brethren - his glowing red nose. "Then all the reindeer loved him..." So the lesson learned is that it's okay to fuck with people different than you until they manage to somehow redeem themselves for being different? Are "all of the other reindeer" off the hook for being such pricks in the first place? Did they learn their lesson, or are they gonna fuck with "Wilbur the One Legged Reindeer" or "Jefferson the Black Reindeer" with the same wanton disregard for feelings as they did Rudolph? What the fuck is going on at the North Pole? Get me the numbers for Gloria Allred, Jesse Jackson, and the NAACP.
Another thing: Santa and his sleigh were grounded for the first time in 1000 years due to fog and a glowing grape sized nose is all it took to navigate the fog? I've got high-intensity lamps on my truck and I cant see shit in the fog when I drive up the street. Every winter I need to find one of these red nosed reindeer out in the forest, poach and wound the fucker with some strategically placed shots with a .22 caliber pistol, strap it to the hood of my car and just keep it fed enough to keep that nose glowing. I'll be able to drive anywhere. Some people drive around with a wreath or a Santa's head on the hood or grille of their car to show holiday spirit. I'll strap a fucking living, breathing (barely) reindeer to my hood. I'll let small children pet it and feed it, then I'll feed the same reindeer to the same children after the first of the year.
Keiko is dead. They're trying to decide whether to bury or tow him out to sea. Lots of heartbreak here in Oregon... lots of questions. I've got one question: How many tuna cans of meat could Keiko fill? I mean, I'd pay $20 for a small can of Keiko... The REAL chicken of the sea. I'd serve him instead of caviar this holiday season. I'd make whale-fin soup out of his bent dorsal fin. Happy Holidays, kids!
Keiko: 1978-2003
