Jesus. It's been almost a week since I've updated this site.
I watched "Blades of Glory" with my Mom for Mother's day. It was pretty much a bunch of jokes borrowed from a bunch of other movies with Jon Heder and Will Ferrell playing, well, themselves. Also starring Jenna Fischer playing Pam Beesly playing Katie Van Waldenberg.
Also in the movie was Amy Poehler from Saturday Night Live. I spent a better part of the movie trying to determine with whom I'd rather have sex: Jenna Fischer or Amy Poehler. I'm intrigued by them because I don't think they're chicks that a lot of guys jerk off to. I mean, there's probably not a lot of teens with an Amy or Jenna poster on their ceilings. I feel a lot more intimate rubbing one out to a girl that not a lot of other guys are slapping it to.
Of course, I'm having this internal dialogue in my head while watching the movie and sitting immediately next to my Mother, which was odd. I ultimately determined that between battle for brain time during my next ham slapping session would be won by both girls because I'm sure my twisted brain could work up an imaginary menage-a-trois while I beat the bishop.
Don't feel like jay-ohing to a 10? Try two-fives.
I have an actual girlfriend now. This is the first girlfriend I've had in a year and the first non-stripper girlfriend I've had in a couple years. I'm doing all of the things that I make fun of guys in relationships for. Cooking dinner, shopping for purses, staying sober,. Sometimes being straight is gayer than being gay.
gooch
