Thursday, April 15, 2004

GOOCH'S: BELIEVE IT OR FUCKING NOT.

My company is a subcontractor to a subcontractor to a subcontractor to Coinstar, the grocery-store coin changing machine company. I'm helping to decommission the old machines and prep new machines as they're delivered to the stores.

I'm wheeling out a bin full of change and a customer in the store says "wow, that's a lot of change in there." I responded "yes" and politely ignored him as I wheeled the 500-pound bin to an out-of-the-way site. I had to stop what I was doing and look at him when he asked "what do they do with all that change... do you recycle it?"

Recycle it? Yes, Coinstar makes their money by melting down the loose change and selling it for scrap metal. So, if anyone else was wondering what Coinstar does with all that change, your questions have been answered. Now, go play with a plastic sack.

Monday, April 12, 2004

http://www.channelcincinnati.com/entertainment/2998254/detail.html

Ohio Troopers Allegedly Find Drugs On Ruben Studdard's Tour Bus...


Flying without wings... indeed. I can't imagine a guy that fat getting high. The munchies factor has to be astonishing. Refrigerators start to tremble whenever I smoke a bowl nearby. But this guy... I mean... Hey Hey Hey motherfucker, put the fork and the pipe DOWN. I guess when your parents name you after a sandwich, your fate is sealed.


Ruben Studdard and crew moments after Ohio Troopers seized their tour bus.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Happy Easter. I have no idea what bunnies have to do with eggs, or what any of it has to do with the resurrection of Christ. Fuck it, I'm getting fed good today. I wanted a rabbit meat omelette to fully appreciate the holiday; no dice there. I've got a hangover for the first time in a long time. Last year Easter was the day after my birthday. I went to my Mom's house for Easter brunch and she asked how I was feeling after partying the night before.

I looked around and said "I think I'm still drunk." Pretty much the same scenario today, but I don't have a valid excuse to have gotten that drunk last night. Not that I've needed one before.

I turn 30 one week from tomorrow; April 19. Fuck. My Mom told me that my Dad didn't even get dressed the day he turned 30. I'm hoping not to get dressed on my birthday. Not because of depression, but because I'm in bed all day getting laid.

Gooch: I'm hard like algebra.