I was reading the gossip section of a website, because I'm a fag, and I came across this snippet:

British actress Sienna Miller has dumped boyfriend Rhys Ifans - because he was jealous of her friendship with her former lover Matthew Rhys.

Later in the story we learn that Miller left the boyfriend whose last name was Rhys for the guy (the one who is jealous now, apparently) whose first name was Rhys? Is "Rhys" a swedish word for "enormous cock?" What are the odds of dating two people with the word "Rhys" in their name... much less knowing them?

******

I went to the Kenny Chesney concert last night. I'm not a country fan necessarily. If I were to have met Chesney, I would have said something like "dude, I pirated your shit on Limewire before i came out tonight so that I knew what the hell I was getting into tonight." LeAnn Rimes opened the show. I'm not saying that career has slumped in the last ten years, but I think I saw her selling bootleg Kenny Chesney T-shirts in the parking lot after the show. True Story.

I really only knew of Chesney from the sham wedding of his to Renee Zellweger that was annuled for breach of contract, which is usually what happens when you find out after the wedding that the dude was gay. He does have a song about his college years called "Keg in the Closet." Are you the Keg, Kenny? Are you? Don't be ahamed.

gooch:out.

Yee Haw... indeed.

I think you're supposed to take your siesta when you're not, say, behind the wheel.

Car crashes into a bike race in Mexico
The picture alone is goddamned scary.

I guess they're going to beat the Terminator franchise into the ground. Maybe Christian Bale can restore humanity's faith in the Terminator films like he did with the Batman series. God knows he's destroyed humanity's faith in my heterosexuality. Just kidding, ladies. I'm all man.

IMDB: Terminator 4 or... Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins

Gooch and Q-Ball, Montegos, 2008

The cat keeps waking me up between 4 and 6am for feeding. She's relentless. The cat is an expert in tactics to wake humans. Batting at a bell, running her claws down a wall, head-butting me, and jumping on/off the bed are just a sample of the arsenal of insomnia inflicted upon me.

Going back to bed.

goochout

I saw "Sex and the City" last night. There's a part in the movie where Sarah Jessica Parker appears to be sad and Chris Noth says "That's the face I've been trying to avoid."

Yeah... Join the fucking club. I haven't shielded my eyes during a movie this much since 1984 when Arnold Schwarzenegger pulled the heart out of Bill Paxton's chest in "Terminator." True Goochonline Fact: Sex and the City's working title was "Butterface and the City."

At least they didn't take a bunch of 40 year olds and cast them as 30 somethings, which is what happened with SATC's creator's first big endeavor, "Beverly Hills 90210."


The Death Star Battlestation Playset that is my pirated music collection is on full fucking force. My random awesome songs ranging from Zombie to Alice Cooper to Motley Crue to Moterhead to Cypress Hill combined with my sake/red wine medley is fueling this blog.

Fuck you. I could type away and you would have to read this. You can't look away. I'm a train wreck without the humorous subtext. I'm Jonestown without the tasty Kool-Aid.

The cult members in Jonestown didn't drink Kool-Aid. It just made a stupid joke a little less bad. It was some other brand of juice called Flavor-Aid. You just learned something.

In closing: RIP Bo Diddley and Harvey Korman. Recover quickly Kelsey Grammer.

o:gotucho

...and counting...

...There it is. Sweet.

You know how Lucy always convinces Charlie Brown to try to kick the football as she holds it and at the last minute she always inexplicably pulls the ball away at the last second causing CB to fly through the air and land on his back?

It's all I can think about as I give iTunes another shot at managing my Holmesian sized music library. I've crashed iTunes more times than my parents' cars in my teen years. I'm using a different computer with a lot more horsepower. The suspense is killing me.

I've got 1.3 terabytes of storage on my home computer at this point. This consists of 190GB of music, 2GB of useful data, 500GB of backups, and 300GB of pirated movies and porn. That means that more than half of my data storage can get me dumped, or arrested. Fun!

Back to the grill.

Happy Birthday, Sarah B!

goochout.