Friday, April 25, 2008



I received this via email; someone got this information from a KATU (Portland, OR channel 2) news segment:

Tired of coming home to find a big plastic bag on your porch stuffed with a couple of fat telephone directories that you'll never use? Want to save resources (trees, energy, oil--which is what most plastic bags are made from--and possibly landfill space)?

There is a way people can opt out of receiving phone books dropped off at their door.
For Verizon, you can call (800) 888-8448, then push 2.
For Dex, you can call (877) 243-8339, and then push 2.

Most plastic bags are made from oil? I thought they were made from the flesh of unwanted orphans. I'm switching back to paper.

Happy Birthday, Al Pacino

goochout

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Own a piece of history:

Nextel 7100i Blackberry (Ebay)

And... by "piece of history," I mean my old stuff. It's actually a barely used phone, so if any of my three friends that still use Nextel are in need of a Blackberry/Smart phone device, bid soon and often.

It's 6:23pm and I'm drinking a sugar free Rock Star beverage that I started drinking while I wrote the last blog entry (8:00am this morning). It still has carbonation, meaning that Rock Star beverages are mixed and canned somewhere in the fifth ring of hell. Have you ever started drinking a beer at 7am, only to try to finish it off around 6pm? It's flat! You can't drink it. Rock Star defies physics. I defy logic.
E! released a True Hollywood Story on Mariska Hargitay. I watched it last night and let's just say that the wrist-motion-winding watch I wear will now not have to be wound until 2011.



I learned on the THS that Mariska survived a childhood filled with wealth and nurturing parents to emerge as a star today. She was even arrested once. For outstanding parking tickets. It was a pretty boring THS, to be honest. I could have watched it on mute and just made up the things she was saying:

"My hard edged side in my role as Livia Benson was mostly inspired by the hours I spend reading "GoochOnline."

"I didn't hit puberty until I saw the Toddler Gooch during a family vacation in 1976."

"I first fell in love with John Gallucci when I saw him rob Ice-T on the set of SVU."

Yes... I carjacked Ice-T once. I even copped a feel on Coco before I let her out of the car.



I guess I'm implying that I masturbated while watching the entire Mariska Hargitay True Hollywood Story and the fast and lengthy wrist-action wound the watch (presumably on my jerk-off wrist) enough that it needs no more movement for another three years.

goochout.

Sunday, April 20, 2008


New car.
Thanks to everyone who came out last night. I had a lot of fun. Thanks to Greg and Betsy for the cake. Thanks to Stefanie for being my designated driver. Thanks to John/Vertigo for the awesome drinks and venue.
With every year I get older, the recovery time from the night before increases almost exponentially.
Ready for a new week.
goochout.