Saturday, November 22, 2008

Douchemaster Flex... in the hizzle.

I'm working on a computer owned by a gentleman who works in a forensics lab for a local law enforcement agency. On the work order, it says to "be sure to back up the data. " I'm not too stressed out because, well, he'd be the guy to call if I didn't back up his data.

Going to watch an OSU Beavers game today with some friends. Finally! An excuse to watch television and drink beer before 4pm. I remember when I didn't need an excuse; it just needed to be the weekend. Hell, I remember when I didn't need an excuse, it just needed to be a Thursday.


I am getting old. I remember back when "sustainability" was the criteria with which I rated my beer buzz.

Shit, I need a drink now.

UPDATE: I just spent way more than I earned today while shopping on Amazon.com. I bought Artie Lange's new book, and an automatic feeder for Missy (the cat). I also bought the Blu-Ray version of Transformers, Iron Man, and preordered Dark Knight. What an impulse purchasing bender.

I need a shower.

goochout.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Tales From the Dumbside...

I burned the shit out of my fingers this morning. Listen and find out how!



goochout

Thursday, November 20, 2008

These walls are a nice shade of padded...

At lunch today, I thought of writing something called "Napoleon Dolemite." Others beat me to the punch, but I thought it was a funny idea.

Wrapping up my time working with Gregster. Haven't had time to make posts.

goochout.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Interesting Gooch Facts:

My favorite radio personalities (and the only ones I ever listen to) are Dr. Laura and Howard Stern.

I work down the hall from a tattoo parlor, yet I have no tattoos.

My penis isn't as small as I say it is.

I have perform weddings and DJed strip clubs.

I've worked as a bouncer in three different bars, but I've never punched anyone in my life.

I'm not as shallow as most people think.

In 1999 I publicly declared email "useless" and "stupid" and purchased my own domain name [gooch-1.com] within two months of each other.

I secretly own a Macintosh.

I have an archive of the three deleted posts from this website.

I'm happier than most people think.

I don't drink anything but wine when I'm home alone.

******

I'm freaking tired and I have a 9:40pm soccer game tonight. Ugh. Need a nap.

goochout.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

4:25 - Time to "go to the restroom" (and not come back).



Ah... office culture. The art of clocking in and crunching work on a computer between loading refreshed pages of TMZ and thesuperficial. It's strange that a source of entertainment more distracting than a television is an integral part of the common workplace environment. Even more strange is the indignation of employees should their internet be taken away. Like it's some God-given right to check gmail and update your Facebook status.

I'm on the clock as I write this right now. Typing a blog on a computer looks almost exactly like typing an important email on a computer. I even have a serious-determined Tom Cruise intense orgasm face, like every word I type is really super important. It's not. It's this crap.

But you read it. Why? Because those who don't have the ambition to write while on the clock will often read while on the clock.

This is it. The highlight of my work day. I might leave early... but to do what? Go to work at another office? I used to want to travel for work, but I think I'll leave the travelling to vacation. A girl I'm dating has travelled a few times for work recently. She's actually going to China soon. I'll miss her, but I take comfort in knowing that she's going to a country where 90% of the men have a smaller penis than I do.

If she was going to Uganda, well I'd have tears rolling down my face as I write this.

Heh.

Anyways, no more pretending, back to the grill.

goochout.

p.s.: I miss you Theresa.

p.p.s.: Call me Julie.

P.p.p.s.: Um, I forgot.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Afternoon Wood (why not?)...


Last night's Entourage was fantastic. Vince is fired from the set then the whole movie is shut down... Turtle's tapping Jamie Lynn-Sigler... Ari's in full 'helicopter entrance' mode. Fuck, I'm sounding like a goddamned fanboy. I love this show and I seldom stay awake (or sober) past 10pm on Sunday (when the HD version airs... I won't watch the SD west coast feed because I need to see Constance Zimmer (Dana Gordon) in full HD).

Turns out, Turtle tappin' the Soprano broad might not simply be fiction. In an accomplishment that will advance the cause of fat guys who bang hot chicks (or fat guys who'll bang anyone but only brag about the hot ones... quit staring at me) Jerry Ferarra is dating Jamie Lynn-Sigler. In real life. Nice. Here's an article.
******

I did a favor for an old friend and removed a post. I've only once in the 1582 (since 2001) posts deleted a blog entry. I feel like a part of me died. Oh well, sometimes other people's feelings are more important than mine. I can't believe I just wrote that. I'm becoming... human.
(?)

Slept for seven hours last night. Shit. Advil PM = coma. Feel good today, though.
Gotta go.
goochout

goochout.