I was totally going to congratulate you about refraining from writing about masturbation for one whole blog, and then here you go again.... - Sarah (Tigard, OR)
Apologies to my readers who feel that "the tug" has taken up too much of my subject matter. I assure you that I spend more time writing about it than actually doing it.
I think.
In other news, I experimented on a barbecue recipe I learned from Q-Ball last night and it was a success. Basically, you barbecue live oysters, shuck them, top with a barbecue/hoisin sauce, top with cheese and green onions, and serve. It seems kind of fucked up 
in that I had to work to keep the oysters alive long enough so that I could kill them with my barbecue. Is there anything more sadistic? Why don't I go ahead and name them while I'm at it? I'm like the Hitler of the bi-valve world.
I'm going to get a machine like the one on the left [see picture] and retrofit it for oysters. Maybe I'll get a bigger claw and open the first live veal restaurant. I wouldn't need much room. The first veal restaurant and the first restaurant opened in a studio apartment. All sorts of groundbreaking culinary innovations coming out of Camp Gooch.
Currently listening to: "Rio" by Duran Duran Currently procrastinating: "working out"
Gooch Interesting Fact: Gooch face-blocked Rocky Dennis at blind camp during the seventies. They changed the story for "dramatic and accuracy" reasons. You heard it here first.
I've gotta go.
gooch:out
P.S.: When I die, could someone make sure that my head stone reads "gooch:out" ? I think it'd be totally sweet.
Face-blocked?
