Fred Durst did it all for the nookie.
Han Solo did it all for the wookie.
Cookie Monster did it all for the cookie.
Garfield did it all for the Pookie.
Pete Rose did it all for the bookie.

I was going to take my Ford Escape SUV camping this weekend; Long story short: Dealer fucked up and now they have my Escape while they generously kicked in the ends for me to have a Ford Escort over the weekend. Ironically, I may take the opportunity of driving a car without vanity plates to cruise for an escort. Escort... escort... if the cops want to impound the car... fuck it. I sort of wanted to hear for the first time "No Gooch... I should be paying you" to be in the confines of my own car.

"Gooch," you ask, "what if she instead says 'say hello to my little friend?'"

You're so fucking funny, aren't you?

Be obscene, baby, and not heard.

Steve-O arrested on drug charges in Sweden (MSN Entertainment).

Did you know that The Matrix star Carrie Anne Moss starred in a TV show in 1993 called "Matrix"? Did you know that in 1993 I was using a dot-matrix printer? The show and my printer statement are unrelated to the movie.

Everyone jokes about how MacGyver was able to make a bomb out of a tampon and bubble gum (or some variation of ingredients), why not a joke about a pacifist female MacGyver who can make a tampon and bubble gum from a bomb? Hmmm...

Here's a glimpse into my crib, yo. As soon as the office is complete, I'm going to do a picture gallery. It'll be like MTV Cribs, but more on the ghetto-fabulous tip. Living room, TV view; the computer at the lower left portion of the picture is on a wireless network and pulls music from my workstation computer upstairs, and streams music into the stereo. They make audio components that do the same thing now, so I might save up and get the computer out of my living room. The Yoda cardboard cutout came from a good friend who worked at Hollywood Video. The lava lamp was what I used to look at while I listened to the radio and went to sleep. I've had that entertainment center longer than I've had most of my friends. It's more reliable, too. I couldn't get rid of it.The Star Wars poster at top center was given to me by an ex-girlfriend (not the last one, the one before). It's a reprint of a Ralph McQuarrie concept painting for Star Wars.

YODA: GOOD TASTE YOU HAVE NOT.

The movie Scarface uses the word "fuck" 206 times, a record in 1983. It has since been surpassed by Goodfellas (1990), which uses it 246 times, and Pulp Fiction (1994), which uses it 257 times. In the movie Casino (1995), the word "fuck" is said 362 times, 2.05 times per minute on average. - Compiled from the Internet Movie Database.

"We were impressed at how many times he was able to use the 'F' word in a conversation." -The parents of the bride from last weekend's wedding (where I stole a golf cart), commenting on my behavior during a post-reception party in a hotel room. Fortunately, someone pulled the bottle of Cristal out of my hand, otherwise I would have gotten offensive.

Went to a wedding at a golf resort last night. Got drunk. Stole a golf cart. Drove it to a bar. Almost crashed it. Drank more. Passed out. Woke up. Drove to 7-11. Drank Red Bull. Went home. Feeling okay now.