Michael Vick's House for Sale (Realtor Listing)

No mention of a dog run, or fighting pit anywhere on the page.

Eh.

goochout

CNN: Nobel-winning biologist apologizes for remarks about blacks; Also looks identical to the "Preacher" in Poltergeist 2.

Nobel laureate biologist Jim Watson told the Sunday Times he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours, whereas all the testing says not really."

During a lecture tour in 2000, he suggested there might be links between a person's weight and their level of ambition and between skin color and sexual prowess."That's why you have Latin lovers," he said, according to The Associated Press, which cited people who attended the lecture. "You've never heard of an English lover. Only an English patient."

In a British TV documentary that aired in 2003, Watson suggested stupidity was a genetic disease that should be treated.

I'll agree with him on the third one. On the second: I'm fat and white and all I want to do is this blog and jerk off and go back to bed. Now if he'd just leave Carol Anne the fuck alone.

What a hot piece of ass! Oh, and Portia de Rossi, too.

At first I was intrigued about the Ellen Degeneres pet adoption, um, scandal. I mean it was kind of cool that a celebrity was made to follow rules regarding, well, anything. After reviewing the case (heavy research, like TMZ and Google) I think I'd rather Orlando Bloom get a breathalyzer after a hit and run than Ellen be punished for genuinely caring about animals.

Official Statement from Petfinder/Mutts and Moms

Moot petition to "Free Iggy"

More Ellen Crap

Marina Batkis, owner of Mutts and Moms receives threats!

The last headline fascinates me. Who the fuck is so pissed off that they'll burn a person's business down? Who cares about Ellen so much? The answer: Housewives who sit at home all day watching daytime television. Housewives burn dinner, they do not burn buildings. Batkis should have a pesticide sprayer airplane filled with Bon Bons shower the area suburbs with the chocolatey goodness to keep threats at bay.

From an email received last night:

Saw your bumper sticker 'I [club] baby seals' on a 90's Honda last month.

Those bumper stickers (and other crap) are still available from the STORE.

I'm getting some more bumper stickers made. These will say different things that I think are funny. Oh, and they'll be affordableI like good bumper stickers. I guess it's because I like brevity and getting a joke in a 4" x 8" sticker is the ultimate in concise jokstering.



Leaving for Hawaii in a few days. Mahalo, indeed.

Aloha, bitches.

goochout.

Here's an interior shot of an Hummer H1 Alpha. What irony in that a car named after a blow job is designed to make it impossible to receive one while you're driving it.

goochout.

Alcoholics are funny. They can be complete degenerates one minute and preachy "recovering" assholes in some "program" the next. You can be drunk and snorting lines of coke off of a dead hooker in a strip club parking lot with someone and a week later you'll be hanging out with the same guy in the woods while he spouts about how "sobriety has freed him" and how great his life is and how he takes his life "one day at a time" and all you can think is "Hey, dickhead, shut up and start digging. This week-old dead hooker is starting to smell and she's not going to bury herself."

Gooch: founding member of the D-Generation.

I love that when I go to the store and buy three produce items with a net weight of... say... a pound, they always offer help out to the car. I bought a 90 pound shelf system today and they didn't offer shit for help.

Fuckers.

You see, D-Generation relates to X Generation or Y Generation, but when you say it, it sounds like degeneration. That's the joke.

goochout.