It's amazing how I'm against turning 28. Oh, I'm only 900 short from the 10,000 I wanted. Life's full of disappointments. I'm going on a bender tonight. Text page me and you, too, can pay for my drinks.

Oh, big stink here in Oregon about assisted suicide. I'm sick of hearing about it. Physician assisted suicide has been around for years:

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?

Patient: Gee, doc, I can't seem to sleep.

Doctor: Oh, well, I'll prescribe a shit-pot full of sleeping pills for you

Patient:Thanks, Doc!

liquor store employee: What can I get you?

Patient: A bottle of Jack Daniels, please.

Everything has to be made into a Federal fucking case around here. No one can just do shit on their own. I have remote start on my car. I don't have to be near my garage to fill it with carbon monoxide. It's ideal for the busy person who needs to commit suicide.

Fuck off, it's my birthday (tomorrow).

I just got done watching an infomercial starring Ron Jeremy. I was expecting a comet to smash into the Earth at any given moment. Porn mainstreaming is one thing, but I think this asshole's going to get his face put on a children's lunch box soon.
< Which one would you let your daughter date?

Robert Urich is dead? I spent most of the eighties avoiding his shows... I can't believe he's gone.

Five work days until my birthday. I only work part-time and never on Fridays, so I don't work on my birthday this year. Which is good, because I'm probably going to go on a bender from Thursday at 3pm through Sunday morning, when I'll likely be having my stomach pumped. I'm trying to start smoking. I've bought the Nicoderm patches and started dosing myself starting with the lowest dosage, working my way to maximum dose, then ultimately the cancer sticks themselves. It's the "Step Up" program which I designed by taking Nicoderm's "Step Down" program, and merely reversing it. My hands are shaking right now, but it'll all be worth it the day I can announce that my lungs are oxygen free!