I'm really intrigued by the Zima Company's new marketing campaign where they're trying to align their malt beverage with manliness... machismo, if you will. It's all pretty funny to any guy who used to buy alcohol for underage girls... underage girls who'd only drink Zima. As a writing virtuoso (some might say a writing genius) I've decided to contribute my skills on a pro-bono basis to the Zima company:

Normally, I chill--not in the old school, but perhaps the middle school--Sand's Regency hotel in Reno. It's a clean hotel. The decor hasn't been updated since the early eighties, but it's clean... and cheap.

As much as I hate the terrorists, I do have them to thank for the terrific deal I got on my last trip to Reno. Did I stay at the Sands? No. My group opted for the best that Reno has to offer... the Silver Legacy.

It's often said that some casinos consume as much power as small cities. It's very possible, with all of the lights, slot machines, video cameras, etc. Of course, they can afford that much power because of the immense amounts of cash they bring in from the schmoes (like yours truly) who dump money by the paycheck on the blackjack, roulette, and craps tables.

So, imagine my surprise when I went into my room, welcomed by the fresh towels, toilet seal, soft core porn, and a letter from the hotel's General Manager:

(an excerpt): As you may be aware, energy costs have increased substantially over the past several months...Please note a minimal energy surcharge of $3.00 per room, per night, has been added to your guestroom bill. While we regret having to institute this surcharge, our hope is that this will be a temporary necessity and costs will return to an acceptable level in the near future.

This wouldn't be so outrageous (even a bell hop said to me "they should just have raised the rates $3 instead of adding a surprise surcharge") but during my game play at the SL casino, twice within ten minutes I caught two different dealers trying to take money from players when the players had in fact won. Pretty soon, SL is going to start charging a surcharge for the money they're losing by getting caught swiping cash from its players.

I won't gamble at the Silver Legacy anymore, but I will stay there... I dig the spa.

From the TLC website:the Betamax video recorder. The revolutionary home-taping system was introduced by the Japanese giant in 1975. However, it was soon eclipsed in the consumer market by the rival VHS system, invented by the Japan Victor Co. Most experts judged the Beta system superior to VHS, but two factors spelled doom for Sony: JVC licensed other manufacturers to turn out VHS decks, so as competition increased, prices fell. And while the Betamax was essentially for home taping, the VHS camp encouraged the making and distribution of movies on prerecorded tapes for rental. Sony was left behind, and essentially conceded defeat in 1988, when it began to make VHS machines.

note: TLC has featured the Betamax format as a "failed invention" for their upcoming show "Inventions We Love to Hate." The Beta format was superior in picture quality, as mentioned above. The "failure" was essentially the marketing and licensing blunder that allowed VHS to dominate (also mentioned above). By TLC's rationale, you could conclude that the Apple computer was a failed invention as well. Both Beta (yep, it still exists) and Apple computers are used by high end professionals for videography and video/visual/audio work, respectively.

"I think that what I do on a daily basis is a part of history."

-- Sean "Puffy Ego" Combs
Regarding plans for his upcoming Osbourne's-esque reality show

G-Dub's Niece Jailed

Click HERE for the CNN story

Click HERE for the goochonline*com log regarding her March arrest

Click HERE for the new POAOTM.

NEWSLETTER SENT OUT:

Subject: GoochOnline news 07/16/02

A new column in the "Columns" section of www.goochonline.com. It's the first complete body of work written by me in six months.

******
GOOCH ARMY is growing! thanks for signing on to the mailing list. I won't let you down. I won't have you looking at me with the same hollow, grief and anguish filled stare that my parents are burdened with every day of their lives.

******

Teenage girls opened for him during the eighties, now regional band DFiVE9 is opening for Corey Feldman (now a touring rocker) at Dante's in Portland, OR. Be there on Friday July 19 - I will. I wonder if my "Lost Boys" T-shirt still fits.
******
John "Gooch" Gallucci
http://www.goochonline.com
gooch@goochonline.com
Click HERE to sign up for the mailing list.

I can't stress the importance of THIS LOG enough (the Star Wars piece). Click it. Also, click on the mailing list link and join the legion of literate people who look to me in order to turn their smiles upside-down.

I'm experiencing somewhat of a column writing constipation. A fitting predicament, considering the shit that I once put out. I did find some buried treasure, however. Before some genius came out with "Blogging," I came out with something called simply: GOOCH: THE LOG. That's right, I simply updated the same page over and over again. I'd ftp from the various locations that I should have been doing the work I was employed to do. You pussies nowadays that blog at the click of a button don't know what it was like. Well, if you've ever revised an html page repeatedly, I guess you would. Fuck off, anyways. Shit, I can't sleep AGAIN! It's not schtick. I can't lay down and close my eyes and fall asleep like a human fucking being. Anyway, here is some old school shit: Click HERE for a blast from my past. This would complete the Archive link above.

If Christopher Reeve became an attorney, would he be considered a quadra-legal?

-Gooch