Saturday, December 06, 2003

More Miami Photos


Gooch and Mike Smoke in the Florida Everglades.


Jose Rojo, the crazy mofo, Mike's sister Becky, and Gooch.


Gooch gets way too close to a gator.


Gooch and Mike at Jazzid, a Florida hot spot.

I'm going to put a photo gallery up when I get back from the trip. I should mention that Mike has taken almost all of the photos posted, as well as provided lodging and cigarettes. Having a great time, wish you were here. Not really, I mean I wish you could fully comprehend how good a time I'm having without being here with me. I mean, I could care less where you are or what you're doing, just know that whatever it is, I'm having a better time than you. I mean, Have fun at work, suckers I'm going to soak up some sun so you all will have a nice, tanned ass to kiss when I get home.

GOOCH: asshole.

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Went to some clubs last night. Swanky martini place called Wish and we went to Jazzid where DJ Kevin Yost was spinning some techno/beat and bass shit. We were all dancing while holding glowing ice cubes from the martinis at Wish earlier in the evening. Glowing ice cubes kick ass. I crashed at Mike's apartment by myself last night because Mike stayed at his girlfriend's house. I ate and I passed out. Slept awesome. Gooch doesn't get hung over, yo. Are you confused yet? I'm in Miami right now taking a vacation from my life, the biggest vacation ever. I'm NOT checking email this entire trip. I do have pictures from last night that I'll post soon. It's like 75 outside right now. I've got to get out of this apartment. Later...

GOOCH: out tha do' beeatch!

missyoumeg.

Friday, December 05, 2003


Me on the steps of the Versace Mansion, drinking a beer, where Gianni Versace was stabbed to death.


Gooch and Mike in Miami.

I posted those pictures last night. It's 10:50am, EDT, and I just woke up. Mike and I are watching Miami Vice and comtemplating hitting the Florida Keys. I'm drinking a bottle of S. Pellegrino. Went went to a few clubs last night. I got pretty loaded. Every guy around here looks like a goddamned body builder. I even saw a handicapped guy with bigger arms than me. Shit. I've got to get back into the gym. Crockett is comforting Tubbs over the death of someone and Tubbs is becoming a vigilante or something. I don't know... you can't just start watching an episode of Miami Vice halfway through; you'll get fucking lost quick. Where's my pants and my pomade... I've got to get the fuck off this computer. Gooch: well hung (over).

Thursday, December 04, 2003

I noted my state last night as being "drunk." Truth is, I'd had two drinks but eleven hours of travel time and little sleep the night before rendered me effectively inebriated. I got some nine hours sleep last night and am much better now. Good enough that I'm able to type this on a Macintosh without getting confused (Macs are like Kryptonite to me).

This place (Miami) does look like Vice City from the Grand Theft Auto games. Lots of neon, scooters, prostitutes, and taxis.

I've got some ironing to do. I got my luggage last night and it must have stayed out in the rain for a while. Fucking baggage handlers. Don't get me started on the airlines (read columns in the 'columns' section for my thoughts on air travel).

Anyone with that server space for me? Lots of people emailing me with requests to see the Paris Hilton video, no one emailing me willing to help out. They all got their cups but they ain't chipped in" - Snoop Doggy Dogg

Gooch: In Miami.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I'm in Miami right now. Everyone here is drop dead gorgeous; even some of the girls. I just got done hanging at a bar with my friend Mike and his sister. It's bed time right now. No sleep last night, 11 hours travel time. It's awesome out here. I'll upload pictures when I can.

Miss you Meg.

GOOCH: drunk.

Sunday, November 30, 2003

I finally dug up the Paris Hilton video from the bowels of KaZaa. KaZaa's been so fucked lately, that I've been having a hard time stealing music, much less getting the most important celebrity sex video of the year. What I can't understand is why the quality of the video is so bad. It looks like it was shot under infrared night vision lighting. It's not like she didn't know it was being filmed, so perhaps the lights could have been turned on? I mean, if you're a guy and Paris Hilton is going to let you videotape yourself having sex with her, wouldn't you want a finished product that doesn't look like a parking lot security tape?

A couple of notes about the video: Rick Solomon sounds creepy as hell as he directs Paris throughout the vid. Further proof that men shouldn't talk during sex, ever. Paris gets up at one point to answer her ringing cell phone, to which Solomon barks "fuck your cell phone." Girls have it so easy. If I even glance at my ringing cell phone during sex, I'll get an acrylic french-manicured fingernail in my eye.

This video is a 5mb file, if someone wants to give me some server space and a link, I'll upload the file so others can download it. Free Comcast server space would be good.